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- Member
Sat Apr 23, 2022 10:59 am
Hi all,
I’m just seeking a bit of advice regarding my parents.
At the moment mum is getting higher attendance allowance after becoming totally blind then having a fall, my dad is her main carer.
They moved from their own bungalow to assisted living due to the size of property and Dad’s refusal to let anyone come in a help – perfectionism, nothing was ever good enough! So I suggested they do this, it was a big upset at first but they came around to idea and are now happy living there.
I’m becoming concerned that Dad is becoming more forgetful, it’s small things, but the same things each time according to mum, forgetting to take keys, money etc when leaving the apartment and also his general health is failing too, he’s had a few surgeries and is waiting on another consultation for a problem with his leg.
At the moment I’m the back-up carer, so if anything happens to Dad such as he has to go into hospital, then I’m expected to care for Mum, last time he didn’t even ask but that’s another story.
A bit about me, I work full time; I can’t work from home as my work cannot be done remotely. Also, I am the main wage earner for our house and wouldn’t want to give up work anyway as I’ve worked long and hard to make a career for myself. I get 5 weeks holiday per year using up holidays isn’t an option as I’m going through a period of ill health too and have used combination of holidays and sick pay to get through and keep us going, plus I need remaining holiday for family time and child care in the summer break.
I need to know what help could be available for my parents if I’m not able to help, say if there was emergency and I’m not around. What steps do we need to be putting in place now so when the time comes so we’re not in a mad panic? Any suggestions gratefully received!
Feeling caught in the middle, fed up and wondering what on earth to do next. ☹
I’m just seeking a bit of advice regarding my parents.
At the moment mum is getting higher attendance allowance after becoming totally blind then having a fall, my dad is her main carer.
They moved from their own bungalow to assisted living due to the size of property and Dad’s refusal to let anyone come in a help – perfectionism, nothing was ever good enough! So I suggested they do this, it was a big upset at first but they came around to idea and are now happy living there.
I’m becoming concerned that Dad is becoming more forgetful, it’s small things, but the same things each time according to mum, forgetting to take keys, money etc when leaving the apartment and also his general health is failing too, he’s had a few surgeries and is waiting on another consultation for a problem with his leg.
At the moment I’m the back-up carer, so if anything happens to Dad such as he has to go into hospital, then I’m expected to care for Mum, last time he didn’t even ask but that’s another story.
A bit about me, I work full time; I can’t work from home as my work cannot be done remotely. Also, I am the main wage earner for our house and wouldn’t want to give up work anyway as I’ve worked long and hard to make a career for myself. I get 5 weeks holiday per year using up holidays isn’t an option as I’m going through a period of ill health too and have used combination of holidays and sick pay to get through and keep us going, plus I need remaining holiday for family time and child care in the summer break.
I need to know what help could be available for my parents if I’m not able to help, say if there was emergency and I’m not around. What steps do we need to be putting in place now so when the time comes so we’re not in a mad panic? Any suggestions gratefully received!
Feeling caught in the middle, fed up and wondering what on earth to do next. ☹
