We all need to recharge
Rucksana cares for her son who is in his 20s. She feels breaks are essential and that to carry on, you sometimes need to put yourself first.
"The carer needs to be looked after first before they are able to care for the person they are responsible for. Regular breaks recharge the system to cope."
Mary, who starred in our breaks series, also really enjoys recharging through her hobby, playing golf:
"For me having a break involves playing golf. I can really kind of empty out my thoughts when I play and leave everything at the club house…"
Another carer, Simon says:
“Respite is a REAL need and well appreciated by every carer – it’s great when it’s me who is being cared for; especially at lovely Drumalis.”
Long-term carer, Dave adds:
"As a carer of 50 years, I feel it is very important for carers to have a break, even if it is only for a couple of hours for them to have their own time to do what they want to do to unwind. And of course a longer break of a few days or a week will help them to charge up their batteries and socialise with other people – all of which will help them with their caring role."
Make your GP aware of your caring responsibilities
Andy talks about the 'rabbit in the headlights' moments that can catch you unawares as a carer when you're first thrust into the role.
Andy cares for his friend, Cheryl. He says:
"There are many “rabbit caught in headlights” times when you first get thrust into the unpaid caring role!"
It is important to make sure that you make your GP aware of your caring role - your local surgery may be able to offer support and advice about taking a break, or other NHS services available to registered carers - including the ability to "speak" on your caree's behalf. Likewise your local chemist might be able to offer support to help you look after yourself, such as free flu jabs, for example. Make them aware that you're a carer, too."
Reaching out to friends or family
Michael relies upon support from those he and his wife knows well.
"I do find dealing with Sarah’s MS very stressful. I need a break as often as possible and I bring her best friend Jeannie over from Scotland to care for her while I take a short five day break when I feel the need.
Sarah's had the slow progressive type of MS for over 30 years. She is now in a wheelchair and uses a scooter, walking aid etc. Obviously as the years have progressed, her condition has got worse and both of us are much older. I am now 71 and she is 72.
'It is a vital necessity,' says Carmel
“Taking a break from caring is very important in my experience. It is life-saving, life-changing, life-prolonging, life-progressing, both for the carer, who they are looking after and everything else. It keeps you in contact with other people and the rest of the world.”
Knowing where to go for help
Joy applied for support from the council because she worked in social care and knew what was available. “I don’t think I would have known where to start or what to look for if I hadn’t been working in that role. The two nights’ away in York at that time was an absolute lifeline. It was fine arranging cover in the end. I asked for a carer’s assessment to gain help and received around £300 towards the trip."
The right cover
“One of my daughters provided cover while we were away. It’s really important to make sure you have the right cover when you go away. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family for support. I learnt that a friend had help with arranging respite care for her elderly mother. Make sure you’re really happy with the cover you have before you go."
Feeling better
“After a break I feel much better afterwards. There is a feeling of nervousness that you have to overcome though. There are times when you think, ‘Is it right to go?’ But I’ve never cancelled a holiday. Breaks are very good and necessary for your health.
“In the past, I’ve received funding from the local council to assist with taking a break so make sure this is investigated. Also make sure there’s adequate cover in place to put your mind at rest.”