I posted some time ago asking for advice on a difficult relationship with my disabled alcoholic mother. I was her carer and she was abusive, I wanted to stop caring for her but felt to guilty to do so.
Long story short, this Saturday was the straw that broke the camels back. She was alone for the first time in ages and she got absolutely hammered on vodka at 9am. She has been on a bender ever since. She wont answer my phone calls, and I can't risk visiting her on my own as she can be very violent when drunk.
I can't do it anymore, I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. It's been 13 years of hell and I'm only 25, I need to take care of myself now. Please don't tell me I'm selfish for giving up my role as primary carer. I didn't ask for this job I was forced into it from a young age. It has taken a lot for me to admit that I can't help her anymore.
I went on the GOV website and have officially told them I'm no longer caring for her as of Today. I know I'll get a bill for the money already paid for this week, I'm more than happy to pay that back!
Does anyone know the answers to the following:
Will she get a letter in the post / a phone call confirming I've stopped receiving CA?
Will CA contact me to try to convince me to carry on caring?
How do I pay back the CA that has been paid to me this week, will they send me a letter?
I want to tell her myself that I'm no longer receiving CA but need to wait till she comes down off her bender. For anyone interested I will try my absolute best to arrange alternative care for her. I'm not abandoning her, I just need to not be responsible for her primary care needs. I have to go back to work and crack on with my life before my 20's are ruined like my teens were.
Long story short, this Saturday was the straw that broke the camels back. She was alone for the first time in ages and she got absolutely hammered on vodka at 9am. She has been on a bender ever since. She wont answer my phone calls, and I can't risk visiting her on my own as she can be very violent when drunk.
I can't do it anymore, I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. It's been 13 years of hell and I'm only 25, I need to take care of myself now. Please don't tell me I'm selfish for giving up my role as primary carer. I didn't ask for this job I was forced into it from a young age. It has taken a lot for me to admit that I can't help her anymore.
I went on the GOV website and have officially told them I'm no longer caring for her as of Today. I know I'll get a bill for the money already paid for this week, I'm more than happy to pay that back!
Does anyone know the answers to the following:
Will she get a letter in the post / a phone call confirming I've stopped receiving CA?
Will CA contact me to try to convince me to carry on caring?
How do I pay back the CA that has been paid to me this week, will they send me a letter?
I want to tell her myself that I'm no longer receiving CA but need to wait till she comes down off her bender. For anyone interested I will try my absolute best to arrange alternative care for her. I'm not abandoning her, I just need to not be responsible for her primary care needs. I have to go back to work and crack on with my life before my 20's are ruined like my teens were.