caring for elderly parents

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Bebi, you don't have to do this. Ask Social Services for a Needs Assessment and get carers in.
Bebi even if you choose to continue some aspects of your father’s care you do not have to do the personal care. I was my husband’s carer and still had agency carers in to help him wash and dress. As bowlingbun says, a Needs Assessment is the way to go (they will also do a carer’s assessment for you, to see what you need, if you are going to do any of the care).