caring for elderly parents

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Bebi, you don't have to do this. Ask Social Services for a Needs Assessment and get carers in.
Bebi even if you choose to continue some aspects of your father’s care you do not have to do the personal care. I was my husband’s carer and still had agency carers in to help him wash and dress. As bowlingbun says, a Needs Assessment is the way to go (they will also do a carer’s assessment for you, to see what you need, if you are going to do any of the care).
Angela_180212 wrote:
Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:21 pm
I sympathize...

Please see a new thread I have just started about caring for multiple people - as well as my parents I also care for my in-laws. Both myself and my husband are only children....

Angela
Hi Angela
I have come across your comment but I am not sure where you new thread is as I would very much like to follow it as I am caring for multiple people? Thanks a lot!
Trelawney_1812 wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:47 pm
Angela_180212 wrote:
Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:21 pm
I sympathize...

Please see a new thread I have just started about caring for multiple people - as well as my parents I also care for my in-laws. Both myself and my husband are only children....

Angela
Hi Angela
I have come across your comment but I am not sure where you new thread is as I would very much like to follow it as I am caring for multiple people? Thanks a lot!
This is the thread that Angela_180212 refers to - but please note it is an old topic (from July 2018) and that Angela hasn't been back to the forum since 29 July 2018.

https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... laws-33944
Sorry to butt in.

I care for my disabled son. He is 2 years old now. How do you cope with housework and staying in work? I cannot remember the last time I did washing up or ironing anymore either. If I am not at work, I am at a appointment or event with my daughter and son. I need time to focus on my favorite hobbies and the chance to teach myself some new skills and make new friends as well. I want to try new things.

My life revolves around test results, appointments and disability events. I also want to exercise. I can't even remember the last time I sorted out my underwear drawer or sat down for five minutes to think. It has been months since I purchased makeup. I rarely get me time when I am at home.

What sort of workouts do you currently do? I am also currently expecting another baby in Jan next year. Suggestions welcome. I have applied for DLA for Logan. We could really benefit from the money. I am currently knitting a blanket for the new baby.
helena_1512 wrote:
Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:39 pm
Hi Judith

What exactly is wrong with your parents? Is it mainly physical problems or do we have dementia to deal with as well or the start of it?

Jenny's advice is good. I can relate to a lot of your post as I am your age but caring for my 79 old husband. I too am living 'his life'. I cannot cope with the 24/7 TV and as he is deaf, this has caused me huge problems. Thankfully he now wears headphones but quiz show Golden Balls at 5AM is quite hard to cope with.

I do think you need to 'carve' out time for yourself. Is there a local Carers Group? If so, do join as you will meet people in similar circumstances. Can your parents safely be left alone? Are you getting Carers Allowance? Are they getting Attendance Allowance? Would i it be possible to delegate by employing a cleaner for a few hours a week. Online grocery shopping? Anything to make your life easier.

In our area we have a group called Meet Up - it is basically for people who want to make new friends. We go to the pub quiz every other week plus they have meals/pub nights/ cinema/lunches. If you have moved away from your friends, this might be a good place to start? I think there are Meet Up's in most areas. One of the men there was a carer for his late wife..

What about YOUR hobbies? Get back to the gym or look for an exercise class such as Pilates. I chair a Book Club - ok husband has to come with me but at least it makes my brain work. It is hard to leave my husband alone for long periods as he is very forgetful. I

Keep posting and whilst we cannot wave a magic wand, we can hopefully help you find a more realistic way of living your life not your parents.
Is there a website? I need to get out more!
Mods, can you lock this thread?

Do we need a new section for "Multiple Carers?"