Exploring feelings of guilt
We are often our own worst critics. You may feel that you should be doing more, or doing something better, in terms of your actual caring role. Then you might feel guilty because in your eyes perhaps you "aren't doing a good enough job".
Take a step back and remind yourself that you are only human and nobody is perfect – it is likely that you are underestimating the good qualities you possess.
If you struggle to see your own qualities, you could ask a good friend or relative to list what they value in you. Developing good self-esteem can be a strong foundation for building the emotional resilience necessary to cope with the challenges of caring.
In some situations, the person you are caring for may also feel guilty. This can sometimes lead to people expressing themselves in exasperated or hurtful ways. It could be helpful to consider the root cause of why someone might be coming across as unreasonable. Perhaps they are frustrated that they no longer feel as independent as they were. It is possible they feel guilty if they see themselves as a ‘burden’ or they see the affect caring for them has on your life. It is possible to see how this might trigger feelings of resentment on both sides.
Exploring feelings of resentment
Feelings of resentment do not define you or make you a bad person or carer. These feelings are natural and are commonly expressed among carers. You may miss your own sense of independence or wish you had more time for you and feel resentful that often time is taken up with caring matters. The person you are caring for may not always seem to appreciate or recognise what you are doing for them.
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