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Anne and Sue's story


Anne, whose mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and Sue, whose mum had dementia, became firm friends through sharing their caring experiences on the Carers UK forum. 

Sue joined the Carers UK forum in 2008, a year after her mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. 

"When I joined the Carers UK forum  I got lots of support and was asked to become a moderator two years later, but at the time Mum needed 24/7 care so I had to decline. I could only get on the forum before she woke up at 6am or after 11pm when she'd gone to bed. After she died in 2012 I was approached again and said this time said: ‘Yes’.

The forum has not only given me support and advice, but also friendship. As a carer you become isolated because family and friends tend to stay away. It wasn’t until I chatted to Anne and others that I realised I wasn't alone. Although Mum and I had a great relationship, I could say things on the forum like ‘I don't want to be doing this, I want my life back’ and people would understand. The forum gave me not only support, but also friendship."

Anne had a busy career in the city, but after her mum was diagnosied with dementia and broke her hip in a fall Anne began caring for her more and more.

There was no time left over, I was on this treadmill. If I was on the train on the way to work I was ordering food or on the phone to the doctor or social services.

I loved my mother more than anything else, but at the same time I dreaded the weekend when I would have to care 24/7. I felt guilty and lonely but didn't know where to go for help. Then I found the Carers UK forum and found a post from Sue. There were so many parrallels it was almost uncanny and I felt like I was walking in her shoes. There was someone else going through the same thing.

The Carers UK forum and my friendship with Sue helped me care for longer. The role of caring is the most difficult job I've had to do. You need every ounce of support to get through it and I think that's what Carers UK can provide.

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