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This is caring: Mark

Mark and Portia married in 1998, around the time Portia was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). We spoke to Mark to find out more about their experiences of living with MS. 

Mark and Portia for web

Portia and I met at university, where we were studying architecture and landscape architecture. We were married in 1998 – around the same time Portia was diagnosed with MS.

You can’t anticipate what a progressive condition such as MS will be like. It’s different for everyone. We have had long periods of managing fairly well – including having our three children who are now aged 15, 12 and 10 years old.

There have also been periods of relapse. Day to day you don’t really notice the changes, but you look back over the years and can see how the condition has developed. 2014 was a particularly bad year. Portia spent a lot of time in hospital (including in intensive care) and we had the shock of finding out she had developed epilepsy along side of her MS. It was a steep learning curve.

"You know you’re not the first person to go through this, but it can feel that way."

I’m an architect, and while my workplace has been very good at supporting me there have been difficult, uncertain times – especially when I’ve had to have unplanned time off while Portia has been in hospital. You know you’re not the first person to go through this, but it can feel that way.

Last year I set up a Carers’ Network at work which now has 150 members – including people who are caring now or have in the past, as well as people preparing for what could happen in the future. The best thing has been the opportunity to share our experiences and pool our knowledge. There’s always someone you can ask ‘How did you find this?’, ‘What can I do in this situation?’.

Portia and I are a great team, and we’ve always found a way round any challenge we’ve been faced with. Portia loves learning and is currently part way through an Open University course in Psychology and is training as an Art Therapist. MS may make the practicalities more difficult, but it doesn’t stop you living your life.

  • Are you looking after a family member or friend who is older, ill or disabled? Join Carers UK and be part of our supportive community and movement for change.
  • MS Awareness Week is taking place from Monday 25 April until 1 May 2016. To get information, support and advice about MS visit the MS Society and the MS Trust.

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