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I don't know what to do anymore - Carers UK Forum

I don't know what to do anymore

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
I have posted many posts on here and well I am now at the end of my tether.

I have been trying to seek support about the fact that I fled the home due to domestic abuse in all forms from my mum and my aunt. I was the carer to my mum (in some ways still am) The caring got to a point where my mental health suffered and it still does I am on three tablets a day because of the panic attacks. I have had nightmares and woken up scared. All this is getting dismissed. No one cares about me. !

Mum has a care coordinator who seems to be putting a spanner in the works at every opportunity she had. I keep explaining to people why I don't want her involved yet they never listen. The care coordinator couldn't have been more dismissive and controlling acting like she knew best. When I told her mum wont let me out, her words "well some people wont be alone." She has a care worker who proceeded to ignore us. We also had to go to family therapy after dad died, both couldn't have been anymore useless. When we asked for bereavement therapy (a year after my dads death) she said its still too early. They just labelled me like there was something wrong with me. I just wanted some normality. I just wanted friends, to be able to go out and have some nice things.

I was deemed not to be doing enough. I worked two jobs, 40 hours a week to pay for things. I was still at uni full-time, I was struggling with my mental health after my dad died. Yet it wasn't enough in their eyes.

When mum hit me and subjected me to abuse from herself and dismissed it all when my aunt did the rest, I left. I couldn't cope anymore. I tried to get a carers assessment done, I had a phone call in the past hour from the person who did my assessment. They told me that they cannot support me because the exact same coordinator told them I am no longer a carer. If that is the case then why am I doing some tasks still. I explained that but its no use, I cant even get support because this woman wont stop putting a spanner in the works. I don't know what to do.
Do not do ANYTHING any more then. Your caring days are over.

It's time to let them sort themselves out now, sink or swim time for them.
Come back to the forum again, whenever you want support.

I had major cancer surgery, a few days later mum ended up in hospital, and was there for 5 months.
As she was ready for discharge, the hospital tried to bully me to do various things, I kept saying No, very firmly, so they sent me to Coventry.

However, it meant that they had to arrange to do mum's initial shopping and carers from then on. Mum had previously refused carers, but once it finally struck her that either she had carers or residential care, she had carers!
My mum also refuses caerers and has made me her full time carer and I must do it and I must do everything in the house and for her whether I like it or not! I too may one day flee. but I'm feeling a bit guilty for doing it especially as I'd be leaving her with a cluttered house as I'm struggling :roll: