Any other young carers out there?

[L_1612]

Hello all,

I'm 29 and have been caring for my mum since I was around 7/8 years old. She has had three strokes, has psoriatic rheumatoid arthritis, is a T1 diabetic and has a few other conditions, which all in all makes for a very complicated situation. I have also had to give up work which has hit me hard.

I do find increasingly as though I am 'missing out' compared to my peers, but I feel like I'm betraying my mum even writing this, I have a lot of guilt I think when it comes to me putting myself first, even for a short period of time. I don't have any family that can help or even live nearby, I was brought up I'm a single parent family so have always carried the load in the caring respect so to speak.

Would be lovely to chat to any other people of a similar age in a caring role!

Lucy

[David_17121]

Hi Lucy, nice to meet you and hello to anyone else knocking about.! Am new to this forum and Lucy, I can empathise with your situation, particularly the guilt issue. I too have had to give up my job to be a full time carer for my dad. It is definitely hard going from getting out and going to work every day, getting out with friends etc to effectively being home bound particularly when you are in your early 30's or late 20's like yourself.

Not sure how I feel about this whole online forum thing, but like you say, think it's helpful to meet and talk to people going through a similar experience.

Ta, David

[bowlingbun]

David, welcome to the forum. Were you told about any other alternatives to giving up work?

[Melly1]

Hi David,
Welcome to the forum. It took me awhile to post on the forum initially too. I don't use my real name nor my caree's. Caring is tough and only other carers understand what it is really like. On here you don't have to say everything is wonderful if it isn't and folk won't judge you for that.

I recommend when you feel ready you post an intro on the New to the Forum thread as more folk read that one and will welcome you there.

Melly1

[Vanessa_1712]

Hi everyone

I’m Vanessa and i’m 27 years old.

I’ll be 28 in June 2018

I’ve been a carer for three years now.

I cared for my Terminally ill Mum from April 2015 til July 2015. Sadly she passed away in July 2015

In August 2015 a few days after my mum’s funeral, my dad took an overdose and nearly died.

In November 2016 my dad had problems with his heart and lungs after quitting smoking in August 2016.

In October 2017 my dad was diagnosed with incurable COPD

[Angelina_1712]

Hi, i've just joined the forums. I'm 29 years-old and help care for my partners mum. She has vascular dementia and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. He is officially her carer. I moved to Dorset last year to be with him. I'm originally from London. I feel strained and stressed with it and it's difficult living here in this situation as her moods are difficult for me to cope with. I have my own issues and they include social anxiety, general anxiety disorder, mild CFS and aspergers syndrome. Are there any other young carers on here from Dorset or the Bournemouth area?

[Gareth_18081]

Hi my name is Gareth and im new to the forum but i felt its time i needed support from people who may be going through the same thing maybe as i am.

This post i can relate to, i am 38 and care for my wife who is also 38 and have been for 5 years bow she has Lupus and had a brain haemorrhage last year and although is able bodied loat 50% of her visio, we have just moved to a new house but im struggling and feeling a bit isolated even though i have a lovely family and support from my mother in law (sort of). I feel more of a carer than a husband nowadays and i get frustrated very easily and sometimes feel i did t want my life to pan out this way but i care for her because i love her but im finding it increasingly harder and i have feelings that get me down but I carry on regardless. I feel my life should be different but i feel so guilty when thinking like this.

Thanks for listening.

Gareth

[Hannah_1805]

I am 25 and I’ve only been caring for my mum a couple of months. She has a form of brain damage which effects her memory and her mobility but it varies from day to day how much help she needs, I’m also trying to look after my 2 teenagers and work. It’s unknown if she will get better enough to not need me anymore because it’s so new or it could get worse. It’s scary thinking that this is it for me know

[Kay01_1808]

Im new to all of this so not sure how it works just yet.

I'm 27 years old and a carer for my dad who suffered a "catastrophic" stroke in March. Althou I have been a support worker for years and work with many disibilites. This one is different. It's MY dad. Its us against the world we don't have anyone else other than his 2 sister's who pop in now and then to visit him. Im starting to think now "is this my life now? Will it ever get easier? " he gets carer in 4 times per day so that takes the preasure off meal times and also keeps his dignity as much as possible so I'm not having to shower him etc.

Never I.agined in a million years this is how my life would turn out.

Im so thankful for all the support you guys give each other. It's a relief to know I'm not alone.

[Jack_1809]

I applied for carers allowance on 2 August 2018 and applied for backdate from June 11 2018 , I received a letter saying I was successful and they ow me arrears and are waiting on UC to tell them how much they can pay me blah blah the backdated amount is 775.20 I rang UC on 24 August they told me that are taking 369.44 into account and that CA owe me 404.76 , I rang CA to make sure this was correct they said yes , I received my entitlement letter and it states that they cannot pay me arears owed because UC payed me 775.20 during that time they didn't I received 633.27 off UC between 11June and 2 September 2018 but UC told me that they are only taking 369.44 into account can anybody please help me and explain why this would be