Resentment and exhaustion caring for my Grandmother

[Sparklequeen1]

Sparkleclean, where are your parents???

This is so wrong, you can never reclaim your young years.

My parents are divorced and my mum who is my grandmas daughter lives 150 miles away. My dad lives nearer and does come over fairly often to do jobs round the house or garden. I have looked after my grandma for the last 5/6 years and in the last 2 years particularly she has got worse with more falls and health issues. I do jot work as looking after her is almost a full time job and as she does not get the relevant benefits I cannot claim Carer’s allowance. Practically every day she moans, criticises and insults me. She is not the type of person who would want to go into a care home or nursing home plus my mum has told her she wouldn’t put her in one.

[bowlingbun]

It is your mother's responsibility not yours.
Why doesn't nan have Attendance Allowance?
Who manages her pension?
Does anyone have Power of Attorney?
If nan falls, you MUST call an ambulance. In turn, they will left the GP.
Does nan own her home?
Is mum an only child?
Nan is exempt from Council Tax.
Has anyone claimed this exemption?
You and the rest of the family must look at what an NEEDS not wants. No one wants to go into a nursing home, but she NEEDS 24 hour care. Domestic abuse is not acceptable, whether physical or verbal.
Mum needs to let you live your young life.

[Sparklequeen1]

nan owns her own home and still manages all her finances, bills, pension etc and still thinks she could manage alone. My mum is her only child and I am also an only child and she is my only grandparent and I believe my mum and I have power of attorney. My mum is firmly against putting her in a home and won’t and due to her working and living so far away that is why I have had to care for her . Nan’s doctor is aware about her health issues but she is very reluctant to acknowledge me as her carer. Whenever she insults or criticises me she then turns it round on me saying I’m rude to her or a liar etc

[bowlingbun]

When did you last have a holiday?
Sounds like it's time mum and nan had a reality check, so what you did was, at very least, appreciated.

[Sparklequeen1]

The last time was about 2 and a half years ago for about 4 days

[bowlingbun]

Then time for another proper holiday now. Tell them when you are going. Expect toddler style tantrums from nan and mum, but GO.