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I'm fed up!! - Carers UK Forum

I'm fed up!!

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
Hello ladies and gentlemen,


I am so fed up of my mum not listening to me in most cases. I have been caring for my mum for about 13 years now, only in the recent years she has been getting worse. I'm 27 yes old now.

I have been trying to advise her on how to help herself as well as me helping her. She has sciatica now and she is overweight and as I have sciatica myself I have been trying to advise her to move into her bed and put her leg up on a leg riser. But, she doesn't listen and now she's in pain! I gave her her hot water bottle and she said that was helpful but still painful.

My mum used to be an alcoholic and now she is not aloud to drink alcohol as that will kill her.

I have tried to be there for my mum but it does feel so exhausting having to look after her as well as myself.

Rant over!

Any opinions or advice would be so helpful,

Thank you
Has anyone told you that you cannot be forced to care for anyone, the only power she has over you is the power you let her have.
So don't give in to her.
If she won't follow advice, say something like, "it's your choice, if you don't want to do it, don't expect me to deal with the consequences".
She can have carers come in to look after her, rather than you.
At 27, you should be out enjoying yourself, realising your dreams, not dealing with mum.
You know the age old saying 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink?' Your mums a person with her own opinions and thoughts - you might be 100% right but you can't force her to listen. It sounds like she's the one that will bare the consequences by not listening. Try to remember you've done as much as you can by giving her the advice and support, you can't do anymore than that.