I feel hopeless and traped

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
Im 27 years old.I have 2 brothers with DMD,older one is almost 30,and the second one is 23.Me and my mom are both carrers of my brothers.I became a carrer when my brothers finished school,3 years ago i think.The situation has become a living hell for me,my mental health is at bottom.I feel deprresed,sad,miss my previous life.The one thing that bothers me the most is my privacy,we all live in a small house,i share a room with my 2 brothers.When my brothers were in school,i had a rented apartment and i miss that really bad.It may sound that i am a bad person,but when the day is really bad,i just wish they were never born,they are suffering,family is suffering.It came to a point where i dont see the future for myself anymore,or that future is really bad.Especialy it hurts when i see my friends getting married,having kids,normal jobs.Everything i do involves my brothers,from the moment i wake up,to the moment i go to sleep.I cant remember the last time i went out on weekend.I became a carrer with good intentions,but if i would know what will happen to me mentaly,i would never do it.How do you guys cope with the everday mental stress?
Goran, that is an excruciating situation. it's one we see sometimes on this forum, when one sibling is 'roped in' by a desperate parent to help with other siblings.

Is it right, is it fair?

No, it isn't. YOU should be living the live you have, not cast in the role of carer for your brothers. BUT, I can see your mother being so desparate and so exhausted that she ropes you in to help her. You don't mention your dad, so I take it he isn't around??

May I ask a very difficult question. What is the life expectancy of your brothers? This is a brutal thing to think about, but it DOES alas set the 'outer limit' of what the future is likely to be. I know that some DMD patients can last a lot longer than others, and that of course medical treatment can improve all the time, making longer life possible.

I ask because it sets in train two choices for you - to 'stick it out' as the 'able sibling' to support your mother as she cares for her other sons for the remainder of their increasingly difficult lives as this dreadful illness takes its grim toll.

Or to leave home, and take up your own life.

If you do the latter, what are the practicalities of your mother getting any 'substitute help'? Is ther ANY opportunity for your brothers to move into full time supported living for the remainder of their lives? If there is, is this something your mother would agree to>

What I am concerned about is whether your brothers COULD move into supported living, and not require daily care from your mother and yourself, but that your mother does not want that to happen - and that while you go on helping her care for her other sons, she can continue to say no to them moving out. If that is so, then you staying to help her merely 'enables' her to keep her other sons at home - at the expense, sadly, of YOUR future......

One of the dreadful things that can happen in such tragic families as yours is that the 'healthy child' (you - I take it, I'm sorry if this is tactless, that you are exempt from DMD???) is 'taken for granted' in comparison with the children with health problems. Your mother may, unconsciously, be thinking 'Oh, it's OK for Goran - he's healthy!'....and so 'assume' that of course you will 'pitch in' to help her with the unbearable task of nursing her ill children.

But that remains inherently 'not fair' on the healthy child.

It's an excruciatingly difficult situation all round.
Thanks for reply Jenny.I dont know the life expectancy of my brothers,some of my brothers friends passed away at 18,some are over 30.And that bothers me too,believe me,it would be easier for me if i would know how long will they live,atleast i could plan my future accordingly.In this situation,not knowing is worse then knowing.You asked about father,he left like 4 years ago,and i would never trust him taking care of my brothers,he is just a bad person.You asked about if they could live in a nursing home or bassicly live alone with help.I dont see that happening,my parents raised them in a way that they did everything they needed.They never needed to example call a doctor,go somwhere alone...And that countinues to this day,they just dont know how to be independent.They are just too acusstomed to me,and for my part its my fault too,from the start i helped them with everything.Only option is a nursing home,but i think they would never forgive me if i would put them there,and probably i would never forgive myself too.
Google "NHS Continuing Healthcare" looking especially at the "checklist". It's not right that you have no life.
I think it would be sensible to get in touch with a DMD charity or support organisation. I do appreciate that longevity is variable amongst DMD sufferers, so it is difficult to forecast. I guess, grimly, there is likely to be a 'maximum' before the deterioration caused becomes lethal, but that may also depend on how determined they are to keep going. (I am thinking of a young man with DMD whose mum posted here - the determination he showed, and his mum and dad, was incredible) (However, he had both parents, and no siblings - different situation).

You need to find out just what is possible re living away from home for them. To be blunt, if they don't move out, then UNLESS your mother gets FAR more help with them from 'professional care workers' (do you get any outside help at the moment), the situation will not change.