I don’t want to do this anymore
Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2021 2:25 pm
I am a carer for my 57 year old mother who has frontotemporal dementia. Her condition had progressed rapidly in the last year and I feel like there is no end in sight. The thought of this being the sum of my existence for the next 5-10 years fills me with absolute dread. I am 24- I want my own life. I love my mother very much, and given every ounce of my energy to caring for her since she has been unwell, but I simply cannot do this much longer. Today I spent my morning cleaning faeces off the carpet 2 feet from the bathroom door, unable to get an answer from my mother as to how she made the mess and why she didn’t use the toilet. It hit me like a tonne of brick this morning- I do not want to give up the rest of my youth for days like this. I do not want to do this anymore. I cannot do this much longer. I don’t know if residential care is a suitable environment for my mother given her age, but as the same time I’m not convinced home is the right place for her either now.