MYBROTHERS CARER/KEEPER

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
Having already done a post. This is just one continued.

Being that I am 19 and a care leaver. I was very fortunate to be given a 1 bedroom flat. However being that my younger autistic brother has recently moved into supported living and not really adjusting well after 2 months. I was wondering what necessary steps I could take.

I would like to propose getting a 2 bedroom property to accommodate my brother part time. ( rest bite). Do you have to privately rent to be able to access such things or will the council be able to assist me ?

Any advice would be much appreciated. :-??? :whistle:
Sod's Law ?

Housing ... my observations on that old thread.

Now copied across :
Hi Nyah ... I'll have a crack at the housing side.

Social tenant ... need a 2 beroomed property.

First thought , possible bedroom tax kicking in if second bedroom only used on a temporary basis ?

Waiting lists on your manor ?

Kinship carer card to be played ?

Possible but ... check out that separate thread first ... if already registered with your local LA as a kinship carer , worth asking if there is anything they can do ?

Assuming you want to stay on your present manor ?

Your LA website ... housing ... have a look around.

Any pointers to social housing operators ?

If not , Internet search ... ( Your Area ) SOCIAL HOUSING ... should reveal the players.

Local rent levels as opposed to the local Housing Allowance ( Which determines the level of Housing Benefit ).

Local LA Housing Allowance checker ... quite detailed :


https://lha-direct.voa.gov.uk/search.aspx

Armed with that information , enough to rent locally ?

If not , local BTL market ?

If Universal Credit has already been rolled out , many landlords will not let to benefit claimants !

Be prepared for the initial costs ... could include 4 months rent ( 1 due now , 3 held in reserve / bond and fees charged by the letting agents for virtually filling out a couple of forms and online credit / other checks ) ... not cheap !

Finances available ... an Online benefits checker which can serve 2 purposes ... upto date financial mot as you stand .... and ... crunch some fresh numbers in to produce a what if type of answer assuming a 2 bedroomed flat is found :

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

Ponder on the above ... and then hit me with anything else on the housing front ( Preferably not a brick ! ).


Note ... not a brick ?
I'm not the best to comment, but I do know there are other forum members here who are experienced with autism. I would urge you not to 'react' too quickly - it is SUCH early days for BOTH of you. Give it time - give HIM time to settle. Things have changed enormously for you both, since you reached adulthood and 'everything changed' in the system.

For a little while, focus on yourself still - what YOUR aims and ambitions are. Are you working, do you want to go college, what do you want your life to be? If you can set aside the time to get YOURSELF 'sorted' in terms of your own future, then you would be better placed to think about how your brother is going to live.

Do not, I would beg you, speaking as a mum myself, 'automatically' see your future as being primarily that of your brother's carer. That would limit things SO much for you, and that would be such, such a shame.

I hope those forum members who know more about autism, and how folk with it adapt to 'indepdent living' and over what time scale, wil lbe here to give you more experienced advice than I can. Personally, I just don't want to see a young person of 19 being 'channelled' into dedicating their entire life to their sibling......

Your brother may not be able to have a totally 'full' life, because of his autism, but YOU do - and in a way, you are 'compensating' him for the limitations his condition places on him. Make your own life good and fulfilled, please....it won't stop you loving him.

There is SUCH a difference between caring ABOUT your brother, and caring FOR him yourself....
Hi
I'd suggest a halfway solution, being a sofa bed. That way he can visit but only temporarily.
If you do get a 2 room flat either he or Council may think he could be there full time, which I don't think is good idea.

I have an autistic relative who has been in at least 5 different types of accommodation. He disliked them all either at first or over time. It's a sad aspect that ASD people find it hard to live with people and hard to live alone. If, however he knows he can come to you for say every other weekend that gives him routine and stability and love, and gives you time to work and socialise.

Try that for several months and see how he is then. His current placement may not be right for him in the longer term, but living with you is also not the best solution. There are other options that can be tried for him, but you will have to fight for them.

I admire your love and devotion for him, but do try to adapt to seeing yourself as his Care Manager rather than his Care Giver. He will have his condition for life and you will have many battles head of you on his behalf. He is lucky to have you.

Xx
MrsA
Wise words and great practical advice.....

You want to be able to be yourself AND your brother's loving sister.....

Please do remember you are very young, and the world will look different in a few years' time. You will, one day, have a partner of your own, hopefully a career, and then children perhaps too ....your brother will benefit SO much from that, rather than just having you 'all alone'....

I know you have been tragically deprived of 'family life' but YOU have a wonderful chance to look forward to having a family of your own .....and that will 'embrace' your brother as well.