Mum has severe bipolar and is physically disabled (uses a Zimmer) Early 2020 she was discharged home from a section 3. She has carers 3 x a day.
Mum has always had bipolar so I have always cared for her to an extent growing up as a child. Childhood was rough.
My studies as a teen were effected and I ended up dropping out of uni due to caring commitments.
I am now 30, I work full time, I am back at uni part time, completing what I once started.
The past 2 years it has been full on.
I just feel now I don't want to do it anymore.
I never feel free. I want to prioritise my work and studies without feeling guilt or being under constant time pressure. I want to be able to socialise, have the headspace to be able to consider dating / relationships. Every time I even consider this, something happens which makes me emotionally unavailable. I feel is I carry on caring I'm not going to be able to live the life I desire.
I feel so selfish saying all of this but I just don't know what to do.
Mum has always had bipolar so I have always cared for her to an extent growing up as a child. Childhood was rough.
My studies as a teen were effected and I ended up dropping out of uni due to caring commitments.
I am now 30, I work full time, I am back at uni part time, completing what I once started.
The past 2 years it has been full on.
I just feel now I don't want to do it anymore.
I never feel free. I want to prioritise my work and studies without feeling guilt or being under constant time pressure. I want to be able to socialise, have the headspace to be able to consider dating / relationships. Every time I even consider this, something happens which makes me emotionally unavailable. I feel is I carry on caring I'm not going to be able to live the life I desire.
I feel so selfish saying all of this but I just don't know what to do.