bowlingbun wrote: ↑
Mon Oct 11, 2021 8:47 am
I was conditioned from an early age never to put myself first, but to always put others first - because that suited everyone else!
The sad truth is that if you don't put yourself first, your own mental and physical health, your goals in life, your dreams, no one else will - because they are putting their OWN wellbeing first!
If they run you down and mentally trample on you until you have no self respect, you will stay at home with them.
If they can't be bothered to cook their food or clean up, then you will do it for them, and so on.
Try to look at what is going on in your household in a new light.
If your brother has a boil on his bum, then he has to grow up and sort it out for himself. Have no pity for him, he has to get OFF his painful backside and take action to improve the situation, or deal with the consequences. It's not your problem to sort out, so don't. Keep reminding him it's his bum, he either does something or suffers. His choice.
Mum has very serious physical and mental health problems, not of her making.
You say that you have asked for help from Social Services. Are you currently getting ANY help at all?
Is mum managing her own money, wisely?
Does she have a pendant alarm so you can to out of the house without worrying about her?
Does she go out to any disabled clubs to meet others?
Does she have a mobility scooter?
Has the home been adapted so she can have a bath and do as much as possible for herself?
Can she, to use simple language, "think straight" or is she very muddled and easily forgetful?
My son was brain damaged at birth, he has aphasia too, some days his brain works better than others. I used to think that he was just being difficult, until an older friend, brain damaged as the result of an accident, said that this happened to him too.
When did mum last have a holiday?
When did you last have a holiday?
I suspect you have become a "Clapped Out Carer". you've done so much for so long for so many there isn't any energy left for anyone?