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Everyone is suicidal - Carers UK Forum

Everyone is suicidal

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
I apologise for the nature of this post since I've joined on this site it's been nothing but negativity and problems. I just wish she I could come on here and say I'm ok, everyone I care for I ok. Life is ok. But I don't know what that means. I don't know what's like to not worry, or feel anxious or dread .
Everyone in my house is suicidal and extremely depressed. Life doesn't get better. You just adapt to your problems until it doesn't hurt as much. My mum who I care for is extremely and suicidal. So is my brother and so am i. She has admitted she wants to die. Her health is not getting better. She has too mAny health issues an I'm so heartbroken and angry. So much suffering for one person. My brother only 20 is in bed all day. He is ill right now and doesn't even care. He's completely given up the will to live. And speaks like his life is gonna end soon. As For me every day I'm wanting to die. Life is a struggle everyday.

Everyone is struggling,suffering and barely living. There is no future and the present is so miserable. Past haunts us. Sometimes I was think to myself maybe I should end of all. Then I'm reminded my mum and brother have no one and no money. So think about ending it with them. I've been thinking about asking mum she's hinted about it. I asked her a few weeks ago what would happen if I died. And she said she will join me. So it's pretty obvious if I did die mum would follow me. And if anything happens to her I would join her too.

The past 9 years have been nothing but pain,poverty,loneliness and stress. It doesn't get better. I've reached out to social services and mental health services. And havent heard anything in 2 months. We are tired living for the sake of it. It doesn't get better. Everyday is the same thing. Everyone has the same face. The air is heavy and full of misery. No one is happy. I cannot remember the last time we all laughed it's been years.

I don't think we've all got long to live. I can barely motivate myself. I just feel one of us is gonna do something that we can't undo. The question is will it be me,mum or my brother. I just wish I was never born. It would of saved mum so such grief. I'm so tired of this life.
You mention things that have happened in the past that have affected you all, and that mum is ill.

I know the feeling of doing too much for too long, in total I've supported TEN family members over a long period. Now just my brain damaged son.

To help you, we need to unravel the threads.
It sounds like your mum is the root of many problems.
Please can you tell us
Her age?
Disability?
Does she own or rent her house?
What did you want Social Services to do?
bowlingbun wrote:
Sat Oct 02, 2021 10:11 am
You mention things that have happened in the past that have affected you all, and that mum is ill.

I know the feeling of doing too much for too long, in total I've supported TEN family members over a long period. Now just my brain damaged son.

To help you, we need to unravel the threads.
It sounds like your mum is the root of many problems.
Please can you tell us
Her age?
Disability?
Does she own or rent her house?
What did you want Social Services to do?
Hello thank you for replying I do appreciate it.
It's not that my mum is the root of our problems it's just our life has many problems. Money,debt,bills,health issues lack of support.
My mum is 52
She had a major stroke right side paralysis,aphasia, type 2 diabetes.
We went the house
We just wanted more support and help for social services.

I'm sorry for your circumstances. I just hope life gets better for all of us
Melina_1806a wrote:
Sat Oct 02, 2021 3:41 pm

our life has many problems. Money,debt,bills,health issues lack of support.
My mum is 52
She had a major stroke right side paralysis,aphasia, type 2 diabetes.
We went the house
We just wanted more support and help for social services.

I'm sorry for your circumstances. I just hope life gets better for all of us
HI Melina,
welcome to the forum. Life sounds very difficult for all of you and very bleak. Feeling that there is no way out of a situation can make it feel even worse and feeling depressed can make it feel like taking any step to improve the situation is just too hard. However, you have taken the first step - by posting on here.

First if any of you feel suicidal - then please contact the Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-h ... samaritan/

Let's look at the issues one step at a time, choose to tackle one issue only to begin with.

Managing debt contact the National debt line https://www.nationaldebtline.org for help with this.

Your Mum - she must be very fed with her situation. Has she had support from an occupational therapist/physiotherapy to maximise her mobility and independence? If not, ask the GP to refer her. Her Aphasia must be very frustrating for her. Has she had support from speech therapy? Does she have any visual aids to help her to communicate? The Stroke Association has lots of useful information and before Covid organised local groups which should be starting up again https://www.stroke.org.uk

To get social care support for your Mum, she needs a Needs Assessment https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment
Unfortunately social care deal first with those who shout loudest. Ring them on Monday, take the name of the person you speak to and make sure they know how desperate the situation is. Ring everyday until they help you.

Is her diabetes well managed?

What is wrong with your brother? Is he receiving treatment?

Now you. Contact your GP and let them know what is going. They may even contact social care on your behalf.

Tell social care you need a Carers Assessment too https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment

Making any progress to sorting any of these problems will make your situation feel less hopeless and this will help you feel less depressed and suicidal.

Let us know which problem you are going to tackle first and we can support you with it.

Remember - one step at a time.

Melly1
You mentioned money issues. Is mum getting PIP - Personal Independence Payment, for care and mobility?
This would enable you to claim Carers Allowance.
Does mum own or rent the house?
Are you getting Housing Benefit, if you are renting?
Melly1 wrote:
Sat Oct 02, 2021 5:13 pm
Melina_1806a wrote:
Sat Oct 02, 2021 3:41 pm

our life has many problems. Money,debt,bills,health issues lack of support.
My mum is 52
She had a major stroke right side paralysis,aphasia, type 2 diabetes.
We went the house
We just wanted more support and help for social services.

I'm sorry for your circumstances. I just hope life gets better for all of us
HI Melina,
welcome to the forum. Life sounds very difficult for all of you and very bleak. Feeling that there is no way out of a situation can make it feel even worse and feeling depressed can make it feel like taking any step to improve the situation is just too hard. However, you have taken the first step - by posting on here.

First if any of you feel suicidal - then please contact the Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-h ... samaritan/

Let's look at the issues one step at a time, choose to tackle one issue only to begin with.

Managing debt contact the National debt line https://www.nationaldebtline.org for help with this.

Your Mum - she must be very fed with her situation. Has she had support from an occupational therapist/physiotherapy to maximise her mobility and independence? If not, ask the GP to refer her. Her Aphasia must be very frustrating for her. Has she had support from speech therapy? Does she have any visual aids to help her to communicate? The Stroke Association has lots of useful information and before Covid organised local groups which should be starting up again https://www.stroke.org.uk

To get social care support for your Mum, she needs a Needs Assessment https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment
Unfortunately social care deal first with those who shout loudest. Ring them on Monday, take the name of the person you speak to and make sure they know how desperate the situation is. Ring everyday until they help you.

Is her diabetes well managed?

What is wrong with your brother? Is he receiving treatment?

Now you. Contact your GP and let them know what is going. They may even contact social care on your behalf.

Tell social care you need a Carers Assessment too https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment

Making any progress to sorting any of these problems will make your situation feel less hopeless and this will help you feel less depressed and suicidal.

Let us know which problem you are going to tackle first and we can support you with it.

Remember - one step at a time.

Melly1
She had a stroke 9 years ago. She got therapy after she returned to the hospital.I've done everything you have listed. I've contacted stroke association in the past. We phoned them recently for advice.however I might ask the go if they can he!p is for mum like speech and occupational therapy. Thank you for your comment.

Also in will contact the social worker again. Thank you. Her diabetes is controlled and managed but I'm afraid. It's so much work. So much things she cannot have. So much food and drink that could make her diabetes wotst. Since her diagnosis I'm working even more. And I'm afraid for her health in the future.

I spoke to My go and she kinda brushed it off. Said mum's fine. And to take my antidepressants and she will arrange for therapy for me.

My brother is ill massive boil size of a chestnut.But he doesn't want treatment.

Yes she's so fed up. It's heart breaking watching my mother vsuffer. Thank you for your kindness and advice.
bowlingbun wrote:
Sat Oct 02, 2021 6:33 pm
You mentioned money issues. Is mum getting PIP - Personal Independence Payment, for care and mobility?
This would enable you to claim Carers Allowance.
Does mum own or rent the house?
Are you getting Housing Benefit, if you are renting?
Hello yes mum gets PIP. I also have carers allowance. She rents the house and we get housing benefit. Even though it wasn't always like this. Took years.
Hello Melina

Thank you for posting in the Forum about your situation. It sounds like you, your mum and your brother have been having a really tough time recently. In addition to the supportive responses from Melly1 and bowlingbun, I have also sent you an email with some additional suggestions of support.

Wishing you well

Michael
Michael Carers UK wrote:
Mon Oct 04, 2021 12:11 pm
Hello Melina

Thank you for posting in the Forum about your situation. It sounds like you, your mum and your brother have been having a really tough time recently. In addition to the supportive responses from Melly1 and bowlingbun, I have also sent you an email with some additional suggestions of support.

Wishing you well

Michael
Thank you very much. And thank you for everyone commenting on here and being kind and helpful.
We all understand that it's tough being a long term carer. Non carers haven't got a clue.
It's very tough being disabled, unable to do any of the things we used to.
Try to find moments of pleasure every day to lighten your mood. I love watching my plants grow, and enjoy sewing. Even just taking a few moments outside watching the clouds can be calming.