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Carers UK Forum • Don’t want to go home
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Don’t want to go home

Posted: Sun May 22, 2022 7:47 am
by Coolcar98
Hi, so of late this have got very difficult and I don’t know what to do.

Since my dad died my mums needs have been too hard for me to cope with and I never wanted to become her carer.

Also since my dad died my aunt has found an excuse to come into our home and spread her abusive ness around. She is known to social services for abusing my disabled aunt which is now in care.

She has caused so much trouble for us, mainly getting my mum banned from places, stopping my mum accessing health care and making nasty comments about me prompting me to develop body dysmorphia and anxiety causing panic attacks.

She has turned my mum against me and my mum attacked me prompting me to call the police. I had to vacate the home quickly. I have now moved in with my boyfriend.

When I went to get my stuff my aunt was living in my old house and was very agressive. Mum now believes I was abusing her yet I cannot understand. Under mums needs I was never allowed to go out because she was scared to be on her own and there was no one to help. I don’t want to go back to ghat I was lonely and suffering.

Mum has a care coordinator but she is useless and is very dismissive. Mum was saying she wanted to kill herself and my sister rung for an ambulance to get checked over. My aunt did not like this and wouldn’t let them have acsess to mum. She was then arguing with me and my sister being aggressive claiming that mum never said it. Mum sent my sister messages saying it. The paramedic called the police on her but then it turned nasty. I was being called nasty names and my stuff was thrown on the street.

I had to leave. I told the therapist the week before that I knew something was wrong, it prompted a safeguarding meeting. All that came of it was they were going to contact someone dealing with my aunt at social services. Now I am not at home I cannot help anymore and I am worried that mum will be made homeless because she doesn’t know how to pay for things.

I am scared I have tried to tell mums cc about this and all they can say is she has capacity. She is also saying she has capacity to do something about my aunt if she is displaying signs of da.

No one will help me and it feels like I am going to be forced back into that home and face the abuse again. My aunt didn’t think it was fair if I ate anything, claiming I was too fat. I now eat very little each day and even that is hard. I don’t know what to do.

I never abused mum, I may not want to be a career but she was still my mum. We still went out for trips and stuff I took her to cinema every week, yet one day she just turned on me and I don’t know why.

My aunt is now in a position where my aunt is at the property and if someone knocks on the door a neighbour, or the postman she is being violent to them.

Re: Don’t want to go home

Posted: Sun May 22, 2022 2:17 pm
by Melly1
Goodness, Coolcar.

Are you able to stay at your boyfriends long term/ until you find a place of your own? Were you able to collect your stuff or is it still at the family home?

I think it would be helpful for you to have an opportunity to talk all of this through, your GP would be a good place to start and should be able to refer you for counselling. In some areas, you can self refer too.

It is good the police, safeguarding and your Aunt's social worker are all involved.

When your Aunt isn't at your Mum's house where does she live?

Melly1