Anyone here still living at home with mum and dad?

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
I'm in my 30s and struggling to cope with my dads controlling ways and lack of respect for me.

How do you cope? Any tips or suggestions? If I could afford to I'd move out.
Rachel, as I've said on your other thread, your dad can be as 'controlling' as he likes. That's his choice. It's YOUR choice not to BE controlled.

What happens if you 'disobey' him? (eg, take that bus to work!). All he can do is lay into your verbally. If he does, walk away. Tell him you're not a child, etc etc.

His anger or displeasure is irrelevant to you. It's HIS responsibility how he feels, and how he reacts to you. YOU are not responsible for him, or how he behaves. Let him take the consequences of his action.

As for the lock on your room and the boiler, that is trickier.....

But the rest is just a question of standing up to him. He won't like it, but why the hell should you care?!!!!
Rachel17 wrote:
Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:50 pm
If I could afford to I'd move out.
There's your get out clause Rachel. Start saving and planning, get a second job or a full time one and that's your passport away
MrsAverage wrote:
Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:15 pm
Rachel17 wrote:
Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:50 pm
If I could afford to I'd move out.
There's your get out clause Rachel. Start saving and planning, get a second job or a full time one and that's your passport away
I wish I could, but my job is unpaid and we were working on an app which he has no intentions of ever getting out.

I have just had a big row with him over the issue and I'm now back in my bedroom in tears. He says he is taking mum back to France on Monday, I don't know if he means it or it's just a threat, but either way I do not care, he doesn't really want to be here anyway.
Would this not be a good idea, taking your mum to France? If your dad is happier there, then that might work out for the best all round?
Rachel,
You are going to be forever disappointed by your dad and the app. It's time to accept this and move on. It seems his attitude towards you is getting worse, not better. YOU must take control and decide what YOU really, really want in life. Your position here is not unique, I remember one chap in a dreadful situation here, who took that step and is now happily married with a baby. There is only so much support we can give you as an online forum. Ultimately the decision is yours, because you are responsible for your own happiness.
Rachel
I recommend a self help book called 'Overcoming low self esteem' by Melanie Fennell
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Low ... B01EG5HMQ4

Definitely worth seeking out counselling too.

You can get through this

Xx
MrsA