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Any other young carers out there? - Carers UK Forum

Any other young carers out there?

A place for those 18-35 to chat about all things caring.
65 posts

Been on the forum a while now and everyone is so lovely! :) But just wondered if there were any other younger carers out there? I'm 30 and have cared for my husband for 7 years.

Here, at least till next birthday

Was involved from a young age, gradually took on more (rather had dropped in my lap) as I got older, and here I am.

My charges include a sibling, remaining parent and another older relative, was also the grandparent but she passed peacefully at home (her own, which is a good way to go) a while back

To be fair some folks on this board have actually been caring for loved ones since before either of us were born though, others have cared for whole generations of family in that time, adds some perspective

Hubby is lucky to have you
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate! (To put it mildly!). Do you get any help?

I know what you mean, I sometimes feel silly getting upset or frustrated when there are people here who have cared for people 30+ years. 7 seems like nothing!
I became a full time carer when my son was brain damaged at birth, when I was 27. I was lucky in that I was married to a man I loved, when just 19. We'd worked in Australia and had all sorts of adventures before M was born, and managed to buy our own house. Although I couldn't have a full time job, I did have a flexible part time job for a while. I also became involved with various local charities, so I still had a life of my own, and people knew my Christian name. We also had a hobby that the whole family could join in with, which took us away for many weekends, so I wasn't trapped at home. It's so important that as carers we keep some of our own identity. I'm now 65 and widowed.
I'm now 67 and hubby 72in May. I too married very young ( 18). We loved each other very much. I still love him, even though slowly losing him to the cruel dementia. I'm gradually getting some life of my own, meeting friends, and although at a snails pace, sorting my home.( Sadly my home now not shared with hubby) Luckily, I have a very supportive family, who encourage anything I want to do. I've certainly found out who true friends are!
My identity, I'm getting there again. I agree BB, it is important, young or not so young.
Jess_1612 wrote:Sounds like you have a lot on your plate! (To put it mildly!). Do you get any help?
Not just a coincidence to reply with "not near as much as I should get", as seems to be the recurring theme amongst the carer community in years past. I'm not that old yet have still observed a clear decline in the support offered to vulnerable people in society and those who would support them, from both the perspective of somebody supporting family as a carer and someone formerly involved in supporting vulnerable people through the voluntary sector (its in my bones, I have zero tolerance to see others being treated bad or struggling which is probably what keeps me going at this point).

I recall a recent post by bowlingbun (I think, not 100% so please correct me!) along the lines of how our parents would had been having the time of their lives when they were our age and without meaning to sound horrible/resentful of the fact it does give you a shock to the system to think of what you've given up to do what you do when you are down.

So on that basis identity throws me off a bit, before things began to come full circle I was working, running a small business and had some involvement in the voluntary sector (CAB, shelter/foodbanks and the like) its just as well I was able to be that industrious as I was able to pay off a significant chunk of the remaining mortgage on the family home before everything fell apart (including my last meaningful relationship) so as far as happy families go I am resigned to just enjoying visits from family with their offspring.
Hiya Jess, I'm a recycled teenager if that helps... :lol: I've actually recycled 3 times now :twisted:
I am a sibling carer, 24. My sister is autistic, and diagnosed with cerebral palsy, learning disability, and a visual impairment. As she's older than me, I've (sort of) been caring for my whole life. I'm finding the transition to adulthood and independence difficult though, not having as much time as I used to for spending time together and having competing priorities (like a job and a wedding...). Wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation.
I don't care for a sibling, I care for my husband, but I've been doing it since I was 23, so I can understand to a certain extent what you mean about the transition to adulthood. I feel sometimes I missed out on my 20s and want to do more now, but can't .

Do you get any support caring for your sister? A lot of pressure must be on your shoulders if you've done this your entire life!
Hi, I'm Ashley, 29 years of age, I care for my wife who has Rheumatoid Arthritis and An autoimmune disorder.
We have a 2-year-old daughter together. While she has 3 other children from a previous relationship between the ages of 7-11, I also have 2 children from a previous marriage. Recently found out about this site through searching the internet, I felt like I was the only young person caring for someone, even though I know there must be a few of us at least. I don't know what I really want to get out of this but I know this is easier than meeting others face to face, I have depression regularly, and a sense that I feel like I could do better in terms of looking after my partner. Struggling to cope with it all on a regular basis and hoped that talking to others with similar problems on here could benefit me. I love my wife, but I just want to be able to do more for her, It's taking a toll on our relationship and just looking for advice.
And it's a pleasure to meet people in similar situations! :)
65 posts