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Parents reluctant to go into care - Carers UK Forum

Parents reluctant to go into care

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hallo
I am the carer for my mum and dad who both suffer from dementia. They do not have any insight into their condition and think their world is fine. They do not realise the effort and work that goes on to support them. Sadly, the time has come for them to go into care. However, my mum is very strong willed and would not take kindly to being told that. She can quite volatile as well when she gets agitated. My father would willingly go into care but not without his wife.

Has anyone faced this issue with parents reluctant to go into care? Does any one have any tips or hints on how to approach this topic with them. We have guardianship for both of them and are fully aware that ultimately, "we can make it happen" but of course are reluctant to go down this route. If anyone has some insight or tips on this issue, we would be very grateful.
Elinor
Hi Ellinor

Unfortunately I don't have any advice to offer.
Please keep checking back for replies.

I am guessing you in the dementia website and have asked there too.
Tell us more
Elinor_22091 wrote:
Thu Sep 15, 2022 5:32 pm
Hallo
I am the carer for my mum and dad who both suffer from dementia. They do not have any insight into their condition and think their world is fine. They do not realise the effort and work that goes on to support them. Sadly, the time has come for them to go into care. However, my mum is very strong willed and would not take kindly to being told that. She can quite volatile as well when she gets agitated. My father would willingly go into care but not without his wife.

Has anyone faced this issue with parents reluctant to go into care? Does any one have any tips or hints on how to approach this topic with them. We have guardianship for both of them and are fully aware that ultimately, "we can make it happen" but of course are reluctant to go down this route. If anyone has some insight or tips on this issue, we would be very grateful.
Elinor
Elinor
If your parents have had a needs assessment done each are they due a review? can you liaise with soc svs in regards to getting them in a residential home or get them to help your mother to agree?
If they haven't had the assessment done it is time to phone the social services and ask for a care needs assessment done.
You need to know what the emergency procedure is if your mum gets out of control, I don't know what it is but I know of two people who had their mum/step-mum taken into care home in such situations.

I hope you have been to the dementia site and are finding useful information in there to help you.
Thanks for all your help and replies.
I've only just seen your post as I've been away.
You have to consider what they NEED, not what they WANT.
Maybe make a list of all the things you are doing?
Do they own o rent their home?
Both claiming Attendance Allowance and EXEMPTION from Council Tax?