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Carers UK Forum • When someone dies - Page 3
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Re: When someone dies

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:24 pm
by bowlingbun
Sorry Matt, I don't know how to email or PM you. I've had a look at the relevant pages (didn't know about them either!) I think it would be helpful to say much more about getting the death certificate(s). When you register the death, you can buy as many certified copies as you like, I had 6, about £3 each, 5 years ago. You need certified copies as banks etc. won't accept photocopies now.

Having obtained the certificates, it's a good idea to write a general letter "Dear XX,

Then with the deceased name, address, and dob as a heading.

"I regret to ad vise you that my father/brother/husband died on XX at XX. Please find enclosed a copy of the death certificate. Please copy it and return it to me asap.

Yours sincerely,

(Your name, address and telephone number)

I think that the website could have a sample, perhaps which could be downloaded in some way. My mother in law, father in law, and father died in quick succession. For them, I went up and down the high street like some macabre salesman, repeating what had happened endlessly. My husband died suddenly from a massive heart attack. There was no way that I could explain what had happened without dissolving into tears, which is how I came up with the idea of extra certificates and a covering letter. It's so much easier with a copy to send, no explanations, no problems parking, waiting to see advisors etc. etc. Jill

You might also like to mention that the government now has a "Tell Us Once" policy for notifying them.

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:09 am
by charles47
Hi Bowlingbun. The simplest way to PM Matt in this case would be to clcik on the "PM" symbol under his avatar and posting stats - to the right of the screen - on the post you're replying to.

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:44 am
by bowlingbun
Thanks, it's a tiny symbol that I'd missed. Everything in life is simple when you know how!!

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:58 am
by Matt Hill
Sorry Matt, I don't know how to email or PM you. I've had a look at the relevant pages (didn't know about them either!)
Those are great suggestions thank you!

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:07 pm
by Tristesa
I have just been browsing here, and although I trust/hope that my husband is not likely to die soon, I thought I would add a couple of comments based on my experience with my parents' deaths in 2006 and 2010 respectively. They both died in hospital, so the basic certificate was a simple matter. What I really wanted to say was that my experience of the death-registration process, of the solicitor's role and that of the undertaker were all positive. The Registrar gave me a folder (as someone else has mentioned) with a lot of useful information, including the contact details of an organisation that is able to stop virtually all mail, including junk mail, addressed to the deceased person. It worked very well after my father's death, and this was important for my mother's wellbeing, as anything addressed to him upset her very much. The undertaker was wonderful, and organising the cremations went smoothly (including a complicated thing after my mother's death, when, according to my parents' wishes, their combined ashes were interred in a cemetery about 70 miles away from where they had lived at the end).
My parents' solicitor was fantastic. He was joint executor, with me, and he certainly did not delay matters to make more money! The funeral expenses were paid by him out of the joint estate before the house was sold; the total time required for probate to be granted on my mother's will was 4 months, and that included the Christmas period, so I think it was very quick. Even the Bank was helpful.
I think all of this may be a little easier in a small town in West Wales, where everyone knows everyone, than it might be in a big city -- although the solicitor was in Cardiff, where my parents used to live in previous years.
May I echo the importance of getting multiple official copies of the death certificate at the time of registering the death. The solicitor advised me to do this, and it simplified dealing with authorities.
I forgot about unexpired driving licences and passports Image I only found them when clearing the house after my mother's death in 2010, and I am not going to send them in now, 3 years later, as it might open some new can of worms...
Tristesa

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:52 pm
by Lazydaisy
Tristesa, definitely NOT easier in a small town in West Wales. (my family have just had a bad experience four years after our son's death).
Also, hospital deaths may be sudden. Not always possible to have a death certificate as some deaths need an inquest. In that case,the Coroner issues something that you can use as proof of death.And if you have an inquest, the death certificate may not be released straightaway,as the Registrar has to send away for approval,in the case of our son, it took a month after we were notified of the Registrar being able to give us the death certificate. I was on the phone every week to them, to find out when I could pick it up. It added to the distress immensely.

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:59 pm
by JHR57
Tristesa, definitely NOT easier in a small town in West Wales. (my family have just had a bad experience four years after our son's death).
Also, hospital deaths may be sudden. Not always possible to have a death certificate as some deaths need an inquest. In that case,the Coroner issues something that you can use as proof of death.And if you have an inquest, the death certificate may not be released straightaway,as the Registrar has to send away for approval,in the case of our son, it took a month after we were notified of the Registrar being able to give us the death certificate. I was on the phone every week to them, to find out when I could pick it up. It added to the distress immensely.
Absolutely agree when my dear old Dad passed away last month I called the paramedics because he was struggling to breathe, with hindsight I think the young paramedic who attended to Dad knew he wasn't going to make it but give him his due he blue lighted him straight to A&E who took him straight through to "rescuss" poor Dad didn't make it and died shortly after but it was touch and go for 4 days before the coroner decided an autopsy wasn't required our GP had been to see Dad just days before his death and said he couldn't find anything wrong with him and that caused the coroner to be undecided on the cause of death and as the death occured in A&E the coroner hummed and aarr'd but after looking at the paramedics and the A&E doctors notes that mirrored each other he then decided that pneumonia was indeed the cause otherwise we could have had to wait nearly a fortnight before being able to finally put my Dear Dad to rest xx

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:24 pm
by Audrey F
I would like to echo one of the earlier posts that warns against having a solicitor as an executor.

My husband had been suffering with dementia for some years so he only had a 'pocket money' account in his name which had the grand total of £2500.

His solicitor kept his will from me, despite me being named as joint executor until I demanded a copy. He also tried to insist that the 'estate' went through probate, which would have cost £500 plus his fees. When I objected he then insisted on drawing up a document recusing himself from his obligations as an executor and sent me a bill for £50.

With the advice from a friendly paralegal, I sent the solicitor a letter stating that, as it was such a small sum there was no need to go to probate and that it might even have been considered a waste of the courts time. Also, as the letter of recusal was for his benefit not mine, I felt that the financial obligation was his not mine.

I received a letter back stating that in the light of my observations he considered the matter closed.

He had not done a thing towards an executors duties, but left everything to me, yet still wanted a slice of the pie.

I feel that he was not acting in either mine or my husband's best interests, just out to make money from the situation any way he could.

Re: When someone dies

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:01 am
by Tristesa
Oh, goodness, it is so distressing to hear these stories of people making the situation more difficult for the bereaved at such a sensitive time. The last thing one needs after a death is to have to fight bureaucracy or greed in addition to the emotional blow. Obviously I was really lucky when my mother and father died to be working with doctors, registrars, undertakers, bank employees and a solicitor who were all both competent and kind.
I think that all one can say about the solicitor issue is that it clearly depends entirely on the solicitor. If you have one you can trust and get on with, then I honestly think he/she can help to ease the burden, but if not, then it would clearly be better to keep them out of it as far as possible.

Tristesa