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what would you do if you were us? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

what would you do if you were us?

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
he is a sociable lil fella isnt he? I would let him do it over the 3 years, make new friends, have the social life that goes along with uni (im sure thats why my sister went!) He might change his mind? if not it gives him something to focus on other than having lost his friend so recently.
And like u said he might give up on life if u dont let him go, and as a parent u would feel guily if he wasnt happy

Massive hugs to u
He's big enough to decide for himself.
Learning and doing research, whilst tiring, is also a lot more interesting, valuable and rewarding than working.

I mean, (bear with me here) we don't really know what the afterlife is like, do we? So maybe we got it all wrong and they only allow people with postgraduate qualifications into heaven? Stranger things have happened.... Image

More seriously, when an academic publishes some research, it becomes part of a universal body of knowledge. When an employee publishes, the work becomes the property of the employer, and is often scrapped.
I want to say thank you to you all for the kind things you have said and the support you have given.

The meeting today went very well. The University seem to provide a lot more support and help than the one in Paisley did so that is a bit of a relief. They have also said that they would provide Robert with a locker where he could keep his ventilator for use if he needed it during the day. They will provide a parking pass for dropping him off and picking him up when we take him there.

The only down side is that he might have left it too late to start this September but they will let us know by the end of the week. We have to go up again and meet with the head of the faculty and get a tour of the facilities.

The part time Masters degree will be 2 years not 3 as he had thought - although if his health worsens he could do it over 3 years.

So I feel a lot better about things now and we will have to wait and see what happens.

Regards to all

Eun, I am so pleased, the ideal solution would have been for all of you to be happy with the situation and whilst I can understand your concerns and I am sure that in the same circumstances I would share them, it looks as if at least some of your fears, if not most, have been allayed.

Sometimes one of the most difficult ways in which we can express our love for the people we care for is to give them our blessing to follow their own path despite our fears for them, Rob has a lot of living to do in a short time and for him perhaps quality of life and fullness of experience takes precedence over any potential damage to his health. I do hope that Rob gets a place for September and I am sure that he will have a wonderful time studying and getting to know new people.

Eun, I am so pleased for you Image
I am just wanting to ask a few peoples opinion on here regarding a decision our son wants to make. I believe I have mentioned before that my son's condition is DMD and is fatal and also mentioned that he is an Honours graduate from University?

Well, Rob has been trying really hard for the last two years to find a job and no one will give him a chance even though he has the qualifications for the jobs. (In fact two of his able bodied friends whose degrees are not as good as Robs got 2 of the jobs he went for interviews and was turned down for).

In Rob's final year he worked so hard he almost made himself ill. He is now thinking of returning to University to do his Masters. His dad and I are opposed to this on the grounds that finishing his Honours year nearly killed him and his condition has worsened in the last two years.

Surely if your lifespan was limited you wouldn't want to spend your remaining time on this earth working your guts out studying for a degree when you won't get a job out of it anyway? He has a full life at the moment and he would not have time for any of the things he currently enjoys in a life filled with studying.

Are we being unfair in trying to discourage him?

Personally speaking why can't Rob go self employed and use his skills this way he will be rewarded and will not be discriminated against
He didn't go to Uni for post graduate study in the end because they will charge him the full fees of £4,000 and that is too much money. They left it too late to let him know in time for him to write to various places to get the funding in place for this year so he might try again next year if he can raise the funding. Such a pity as the Disability advisor seemed so on the ball otherwise.

No one is funded for post graduate study in this particular course - not full time or part time.

To go self employed in the games industry is particularly hard even if you are able bodied let alone severely disabled. Three of his able bodied friends tried it and had to give up after a year of working until 10 pm at night from early in the morning. Robert could not physically cope with those sort of hours.

Just watched the news and then read this post-- he could easily go on benefits and sit at home and do nothing yet he wants to be doing something and the help isnt there

Funny how the government r saying one thing yet there is no help for some one like your Rob who is desperate to make soem thing of himself.
So how is he filling his time now, Eun? And how does that impact on you?
Hi Excalibur

Thanks for asking. He is doing a lot for the Children's Hospice Association - he is the Chairman of YAC (Young Adult Council). They have regular monthly meetings and the lads also meet up every 2nd month at the five a side place in Rouken Glen Park to socialise and have a natter.

He went out last Saturday with his dad to the Savoy nightclub but no girls talked to him this time. At the moment the two of them are on their way home from Firhill.

He has also been helping the Respiratory Consultant train up his assistant - helping him draw up a questionnaire etc

He is going to Rachel House Children's Hospice for respite from Monday to Thursday next week. Regretablly I am loaded with the cold at the moment so I hoping it will be gone by the time Rob is away as Rob sr and I would like some quality time to ourselves.

Mostly Rob spends his time in his room chatting to his mates on MSN etc or playing his computer games.