What should I do since mum threatens to kill me if I visit?

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
My mam threatened to kill me this lunch time, if I showed up again at her bungalow. I realize it’s the altered-ego-state of her Dementia/Schizophrenia. The doctors haven’t diagnosed Dementia – but a close family friend who works as a social worker says it sounds like she’s got Lewy Body dementia.

I reported it to the Police – since I feel that it’s the first time she’s directly threatened to harm me. As I’m writing - the Police just ended a phone call. They were following up my report and taking note of the incident.

I’ve had reservations about her – ever since the time a couple of months back – when I found a kitchen knife in her hand bag and in her bedside drawers. Why would she need a carving knife in her bedroom?

A week or so ago, she admitted to the Psychiatrist that she does keep a knife and scissors in her bedroom. The reason is that she’s frightened of these “shadowy figures” that come and interfere with her sexually. These figures are of course – delusions; but to her – they are as real as you and me.

I have voiced my concerns to the support worker who comes now and then to visit my mam. She’s asked if I have told the Police how I feel. I haven’t mentioned it to the Police – since I didn't want to escalate the problem and have my mam put in a home or worse. But now, I think – it’s getting serious. I’ve read somewhere that Schizophrenic mothers are more likely to kill their children, than strangers. So now – I take her threat seriously.

Has anyone had this same problem? What have the Police or Social Services done to help? In our case, the Care Coordinator and the Psychiatrist are just sitting around like moaners at their own funeral; they act like they can’t do anything without her permission. So she can do what she likes – as long as she does not harm anyone – yet.
Victor, this is incredibly serious. I don't think it is safe for you to go round there.
Hello,

The psychiatrist and co-ordinator want reporting for putting yourself and the wider public at risk by doing nothing.

During the times your mother is acting through the dementia (threatening to hurt others) this is an altered state of consciousness (not herself) and they should not need "permission" to help her during these times because she is clearly not acting rationally during these episodes.

This is a best interests decision it is clearly not in your mothers best interest for her to be left to her own devices when she is threatening to attack people with knives. They can not simply sit on their hands and wait for somebody to get hurt!

Also I fear for the polices reaction should they catch on to your mother keeping knives and scissors within reach for the reasons mentioned as this would legally constitute intent to cause harm and they are very mob handed when dealing with any form of mental impairment.

I know you love your mum and do not want this but it may no longer be safe for her to be by herself, I mean you will feel bad about it, but you will feel worse if she actually manages to harm somebody else. You have a decision to make but you cannot let this continue as it will only get worse.

Best wishes
Honey Badger wrote:
Sat Aug 31, 2019 9:36 pm
Hello,

The psychiatrist and co-ordinator want reporting for putting yourself and the wider public at risk by doing nothing.

I know you love your mum and do not want this but it may no longer be safe for her to be by herself, I mean you will feel bad about it, but you will feel worse if she actually manages to harm somebody else. You have a decision to make but you cannot let this continue as it will only get worse.

Best wishes
I've left as much media crumbs, with letters, emails, text and voice mail so that TEES, ESK AND WEAR VALLEYS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST cannot deny that I was voicing my concerns loud and clear - whilst they ignored me and the Police reports.