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what advice would you give? - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

what advice would you give?

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
When I had to give up work to care for my disabled Daughter I was not prepared for the drop in income I was told that carer's allowance was to compensate people for their loss of income, well i'm sorry but £53.90 does not compensate for my loss of salary, it's a joke when foster carers get in excess of £400 a week.

We care for our elderly/disabled relatives sometimes because we want to sometimes because we feel guilty or pressured, sometimes we have no choice. Caring can be rewarding but also very hard work. I compare being a carer to being on a roller coaster one minute your are up the next down the way I cope is by taking one day at a time.

Everyone's situation is different so it is difficult to offer advise as to what you should do, you have to consider other family members you also have to make a lot of sacrifices and suffer financial hardship. If you do decide to become a carer the advise I would give is to make sure you look after yourself and make sure you eat well, sometimes you are so busy looking after other people you neglect yourself and get run down make some time for yourself each day even if it's only a 20 minute walk round the block or a soak in a bubble bath otherwise it's easy to get resentfull towards the person you are caring for as sometimes you feel as though you have no life of your own.

What ever you choose to do I wish you good luck and if you feel you cannot cope and have to put a relative into a care home or similar don't beat yourself up about it.
i simply would say, no don't do it. and now having typed that up, if feel guilty. can't win really, guilty if you do, guilty if you don't.
I think the term "Carer" is too too generic; different illnessess, different ages, different personalities and relationships.

For my part - would I care for another relative with dementia (having recently lost my mother through this after 24hr caring for 3/4 yrs), then, YES, I would. In retrospect it wasn't difficult, just bl...y infuriating and demanding and, and, plain boring.

Would I care for a disabled child? No. Personally I don't have the strength to overcome such pain. My mother had had a long good life, had become disabled and ill.....but to care for a child with a lifetime stretching ahead, then I could not do it, and I have huge admiration for those who do.

maybe it is a case of horses for courses / you cope with what you have too.

I don't know your situation or if you do actually have a child but if you don't I can assure that when it is your own child there is nothing you wouldn't do for them. My husband and I care for our 26 year old son because we love him and because there is no other suitable care available. As a parent not only would I die for my son but I would kill for him - that is how strongly a parent feels.