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urgh!! In need of any advice - Carers UK Forum

urgh!! In need of any advice

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hi all its Samantha again

My mother keeps lying down throughout the day, thank god although I feel bad when I think that, but when she comes down I get questions, questions, questions, that now I have gone along with but its getting a bit much, I am working from home at the moment so its a nice distraction but when I stop I will dread the questions again and answering her, she keeps asking where these people who she believes live here are, I think it's another version of me, my sister or Aunt, anyhow she came down this morning and I lied, saying I heard from them and they are staying somewhere else otherwise she worries about them, she just came down and to ask don't tell me you are not worried as anything could of happened to them, I am so close to cracking which I know will start an argument, she even phones my mobile but when my phone goes off she says it must be wrong, this is terrible I can't win sometimes and we have had so many arguments over this sodding disease, can anyone help me please?

Can anybody tell me how to answer please, that I can store away for future reference?
Denis_1610 wrote:
Sat Aug 08, 2020 1:45 pm
Good day, Sam. It is not uncommon for people with dementia to talk about deceased relatives as though they are still alive. I endorse the points made by Ayjay and Pet66. I have had to deal with this myself. One additional suggestion that I have found works well. If they mention a deceased relative, take this as a cue to start a light conversation about that person. Talk about something humorous that that person said or did some time ago. People often remember these earlier days quite well and will cheer up when you bring up these past events.

Hi Dennis

Yes I noticed she knows things from years ago, she doesn't really talk of people that are deceased, it's more like there are other people that live here called myself, my sister or Aunt even, as she believes I don't live here and I never know what to say to that only make somewhere up, as I haven't lived anywhere else really, but she gets very worried when she thinks they have all gone out and not come home and not even phoned, so much so she doesn't sleep. Its like she's reliving things that have happened from the past, as me or especially my sister used to stay out and sometimes not phone.
Samantha, at what stage are you going to say "enough is enough"? Could you have some counselling to help you through this difficult decision. There is only so much any of us can take, and you sound like you are near to breaking point?