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What can I do on bad days? - Carers UK Forum

What can I do on bad days?

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hiya
I am having some really bad days just lately, nothing has changed so there is no particular reason. I just feel like I can't carrying on doing this, the carer in me is tired and wants a life of her own. I seem to having more and more days like this, closer together. What do you guys do to get through these kind of days?
Thanks
Trish
Trish, sounds to be like you need a break. Do you have any respite?

Melly1
Books, mags, draw, go for a walk, invent a recipe, puzzles, jigsaws - anything that doesn't make you think or involve you in caring. Even a wander into town, have a coffee and a cake all by yourself. Get your mind concentrating on something else.
Love and hugs, x
You need a break, something you can do that is just for you so you have something to look forward to during the day.
If you can't get out easily then try for something you can do in a spare 5 minutes........like a coffee outside before the world gets up with just you and the birds, or one when the world has gone to bed and it's just you and the stars.
Something where you can just switch off and enjoy.
Hi Trish,

In my "me" time I like to do something creative like painting (watercolours) or something else "crafty". This is especially good if you can play some music and lose yourself in it. If you can, get a respite break set up. It's not always easy and many don't get to do it but if you can don't feel guilty, do it. A word of warning, as I recently found out (and posted on here), coming back can be really hard so try and arrange another on too before you go. It gives you something to look forward to and whilst it doesn't pay to wish your life away it does give a bit of a lift knowing it's coming.
Thank you everyone, no respite planned as yet. My daughter is almost 18 and that means she is going from children's services to adult services, the paperwork is horrendous isn't it always. We have moved into a smaller house so all my usual 'keep your hands busy' stuff is packed. I have taken to sanding down the garden chair (only one so far Image ) with the hope of being able to put it back together and varnish it. We still have a little bit of sunshine down here so I do make myself go out in it and of course the walk to and from school everyday makes me get out n about. I often sit and gaze up at the stars too Image . I think I will try the birdsong before the household wakes up. I have tried to really 'read' again but I cannot concentrate the words just go in and nothing stays there, any one have that problem? I am sorry if it sounds a bit pathetic and too much like excuses but I really have tried to shake this off and it just keeps popping back up. I feel like I almost hunger for something but I don't know what it is. Thank you again for all your help. Off to put the kettle on and find the sandpaper.
Trish
Image
Just passing through, but this might be worth a look:

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=15679
Welcome to the forum. Sounds to me like you are "running on empty" at the moment. No wonder, anyone without caring responsibilities will tell you how stressful moving is, but in addition to the usual problems you have a caree AND you are going through transition. You are NOT Superwoman - just keep telling yourself that, and give yourself a break. If you can't even concentrate enough to read (been there myself) then you are 150% exhausted. I have a hyperactive son with SLD, had to give up caring for him full time when my health totally collapsed, don't let yourself get into that situation. How much help and support do you have day to day? Transition planning should have arranged assessments for you and your daughter, in theory there is an overlap of services between children and adult services, in practice I found that each was waiting for the other, so absolutely nothing actually happened! Forget doing anything other than the most basic stuff for a week, quick and easy meals, minimum washing - then warm baths with bubbles, cocoa, early nights is my prescription for you. Hope that helps.
Bertiebear the list is great!!! I love the idea of curry and chocolate. Hmm supper tomorrow after the kids are in bed me thinks. YUM and it may mean I actually eat properly, not so good art doing that when my other half if at work. Thank you Image
Bowlingbun Thank you, I have a busy week ahead, it's my daughters birthday on Monday and my 7 year old has been invited to a couple of parties. I don't drive so getting them to n from can be trying, but I want her to go and have a little normality. After reading the list bertiebear pointed me towards I think I need to redo the big list of paperwork jobs and other VIP (very important paperwork) into some sort of SMART order, small, measurable, achievable, realistic, targets. Most of it should have been sorted out weeks ago, but at least by sorting it out I can hopefully chip away some of it. I did manage to finish sanding the garden chair today and get a coat of varnish on it, without the world ending or my kids starving. So for now I am going to some of my favourite perfume on my pillow, sleep and then tomorrow, redo that list with MY music up loud.
Thank you ALL x x x x x Image