Tips for Newbie carers

[D_1706]

First the simple things

Nitrile gloves
Febreze air freshener
chocolate
whiskey

next the approach

Never expect anyone to do anything they say they will. If you want it done write it down and chase it up often. This applies to nhs social services etc. in particular

Expect to be lied to, misled, mistreated and ignored all the time by people you thought were above that.

Always check out anything you're told.

Dramatically lower your expectations. Stress is caused by your expectations not being met. Any reasonable expectations will not be met so learn to expect hassle and grief and nothing getting done, however important and you will save yourself a lot of stress.

Treat anyone in authority as the enemy that they are.

Learn that ther are several different single points of access that there are several different teams of OTs, none of whom speak to each other and you. That no one speaks to each other and everyone tries to pass the buck to someone else. That the nhs can do what it likes and there seems to be very little you can do about it. That as long as they don't make a definite decision they can delay forever and there's nothing you can do about it.

[bowlingbun]

nhshater,

As a fellow Hampshire resident, your post sums my life up pretty well!!!

My latest example concerns a conversation I had with the "Service Manager" in December. Yes, they could lower M's financial contribution....
I didn't have any formal notification.
Team Leader says yes, it's definitely going to be done, at a February meeting.
Early April, new notification, no change.
April meeting, yes, it's definitely been done, just that I haven't been notified.
This morning, yes, definitely agreed, just that I hadn't had a notification. (How can I change my bank details if I don't know?!)
Only the FAB (nothing to do with Thurderbirds, it's teh Financial Assessment Board) were not told what date to change it, so it was the next automatic review date, 1st April, almost 4 months delay!!

[D_1706]

Sadly I'm.pretty sure it's not only Hampshire. At least here we have pretty good access to GPs. Other places you're lucky to get an urgent appointment in much less than a month.

[Honey Badger]

Aside from what has been mentioned,

I'm about as tech savvy a person as you will encounter and I'm here to tell you ;

Pocket-sized/miniature notepad + pen, at all times. - Keep it on you, and more sets of them around your/your caree's home. If you drive keep a spare in the glove box (blank)

For younger carers or those just getting into things, get on top of your filing system to where your able to locate/recover stuff quickly. Critical documents need to be secure but accessible in an emergency (store the originals safely and use backups whenever a situation will allow)

Out of time will revisit later

[Byron_1905]

Getting very frustrated just now. I love my wife very much, but she had just come out of Respite Care on Monday when she had to be taken back to hospital with swollen legs, this after recovering for four plus months from a broken right leg sustained after falling down our stairs way back in January. My wife is very depressed which is understandable and I find it hard to keep tying to build her up when her confidence is at a very low level. I have no idea if I can qualify for any amount of benefit but any advice would be appreciated. As mentioned my wife gets Disability Living Allowance as she suffers from COPD.We both receive the State Pension, but as full time caring for her can I claim for any benefit st all? Thanks for any help.

[Chris From The Gulag]

Hi Byron.

Best to crunch some numbers through an online benefits calculator to ensure that all benefits / allowances
out there are currently being claimed :

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

AGE UK have also produced a good guide ... also includes a benefits calculator :

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-ad ... itlements/

Some very useful stuff on there !!!

[Irgaan_1907]

wow, thank you for information, I'm new here, and don't know all the nuances

[Winifred_1908]

First the simple things

Nitrile gloves
Febreze air freshener
chocolate
whiskey

next the approach

Never expect anyone to do anything they say they will. If you want it done write it down and chase it up often. This applies to nhs social services etc. in particular

Expect to be lied to, misled, mistreated and ignored all the time by people you thought were above that.

Always check out anything you're told.

Dramatically lower your expectations. Stress is caused by your expectations not being met. Any reasonable expectations will not be met so learn to expect hassle and grief and nothing getting done, however important and you will save yourself a lot of stress.

Treat anyone in authority as the enemy that they are.

Learn that ther are several different single points of access that there are several different teams of OTs, none of whom speak to each other and you. That no one speaks to each other and everyone tries to pass the buck to someone else. That the nhs can do what it likes and there seems to be very little you can do about it. That as long as they don't make a definite decision they can delay forever and there's nothing you can do about it.

SO SO TRUE
These so called family & friends that day they are coming or do a meal forget it
buy meals online & get delivered etc
JUST thank them but don't expect it
if they turn up be a lovely suprise if they don't well at least u knew they wouldn't
sure wish people wouldn't say they coming & not deliver on their promise

[leah_1902]

Bookmarked. This is useful!

[Kong_2009]

The information here is really helpful for newbies. Thank you for sharing!