Re: Swapping employment for full time carering
Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:27 pm
Hi DennisDenis_1610 wrote: ↑Mon Nov 09, 2020 7:44 amHello again, Samantha. Thanks for your detailed replies. We have a clearer picture now. It is great that you are receiving good advice from many sources.
So it seems that your mum is able to look after herself physically but appreciates company. A visiting carer could be a friendly visitor during times when you are at work, but as you say, such visits would be of short duration - half an hour, if that. If this is not what Mum wants, perhaps it is better not to impose it just now. I presume that by now she has had the scan and you are awaiting results. You can discuss these with the medics when available and I am sure you will receive some useful advice here.
At 50 you seem a bit young to be giving up full-time work. If you were to stop work now, any pension would be sparse. You need an income to pay for house rental, general living expenses and a bit extra for quality living.
Try to keep calm and not worry too much about things at work. It seems to me that your managers are aware of your situation and are making concessions, though there is a limit to what they can do; the job still needs to be done. You mentioned a mistake in using a computer to address a Fed-ex package. Have you had training on how to do this? It is not good enough for people to assume you know how to do this because "everybody else can". This is where a union representative can be helpful or, failing that, a friendly and supportive colleague, entitled to accompany you in review meetings. I doubt if you would be dismissed for just one mistake if your performance were to be improving in general.
If you feel you are getting overwhelmed at times, this is not good. You need to have some quality time in your life where you can enjoy yourself doing the things that you want. Is this happening? Is there a way in which you can share quality time with Mum, or is it just all housework when you are at home? It is good that you have ongoing tenancy entitlement to the house, but you will require income, whether from pension or work, full- or part-time.
When you have the results of the scan, this will be a good time to review your life-style, re-assess Mum's needs and see what adjustments can be made. Do please keep in touch and let us know how things progress.
Thanks for your very kind and understanding reply much appreciated, you are right my mother is still at that fortunate stage where she can see to herself physically, so at this stage a carer would not really be the answer, so I have given up going down that road as especially as she is not to keen on that anyway.
You are right regarding my job, I must really keep this, not only for my sanity as to me that gets me a bit of respite from caring, but I must keep it for expenses as well, I just will try not to worry so much and keep calm, so that part of my life I need.
I do get to find time to have some time for myself, whether thats just going out shopping and stopping for lunch if only to read the paper, meeting friends for coffee or going to a restaurant for dinner, but most of this has stopped during lockdown of course. Also I belong to this social network who used to hold social evenings, I miss those as I used to meet so many nice people, I have even met 3 ladies I keep in contact with via a WhatsApp group and sometimes get to socialise with, government guidelines permitting of course.
Now someone from Adult Social Care phoned up and suggested a telecare pendent/wrist band for my mother, which she would definitely wear, but someone mentioned there is a cost for this, which I think is disgusting as it should be free, especially to those of a certain age.