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Rampaging. - Carers UK Forum


Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hi friends. Any ideas? Mum cannot leave her home because she will NOT allow a ramp to be built. She has it in her head that a ramp outside her door is an open invitation to burglars because it 'makes it easy for them'. ??!?? The space between her door and a wall is not sufficient for a straight mobile ramp to be used. There needs to be a turning space at the top. As a result Mum has been trapped inside her house for a few years, (So have I). Mum plus wheelchair is far too much to bump down her rather steep steps. I want to take her to visit a Home. I'd like to get her outside, just into the garden even. Anyone had this problem? Any ideas or solutions?
Could you get some extra, very visible 'big locks' on the door, or bolts or other obvious heavy duty security devices? Or maybe an alarm that goes off if the door is opened? (or attempted to open)

In a way, if your mum is leaving her home to move to a residential home, it seems a bit of a waste of effort and money to install a permanent ramp!

On her visiting the potential care homes, is this actually a good idea? Surely she will find fault with all of them, and want you to keep looking for 'the perfect home'.....

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that she can't get out of the house (how will she move out - by ambulance on a stretcher??) (sadly ,that's how my SIL's mum had to leave her house to go into care). That way you can check out the Homes, choose the best one, and then tell her that she's going in for a 'trial'. I would assume most Homes now have fairly good websites to show people what there is there.

All the best with the search, and glad that it seems to be happening at last.
I agree, don't take mum to visit the homes. Visit them one at a time, and each time, give mum a brochure, and a quick summary. Then she will have time to think and ask questions before you go and see the next one. My mum coped with this better than I'd expected, and it involved her in the decision making a bit, giving her an apparent element of control. However, w!area, so she went there. Fortunately, it was also our top choice anyhow! Does your mum agree that she needs 24/7 care? If so, that makes it all a lot easier. As she is a wheelchair user, remember than she will need a nursing home, not a care home. When you have decided your first choice, the Matron/Manager will come out to see mum to do an assessment, which will give mum the opportunity to ask any questions. They might also do a 2 week respite/trial period. It was common at mum's home for people to go for 2 weeks, then not want to go home again!!
Thanks Jenny and BB. Mum is still very against the very idea of a Home, but may be persuaded into some respite if I keep working at it. She is familiar with her bungalow and is very anxious about not being able to see anything or know where she was in a Home. I understand that, so would I be. My own home would require an awful lot of alteration and installing equipment to move her in with me and we'd all hate it. I could go and sleep at her place, and do frequently when she isn't well or in bad weather. However that means giving up my own life completely. Her needs are getting beyond me and the night time when she is alone is worrying. I'll keep looking and learning.
Hi Elaine, have you asked Social Services to arrange an Occupational Therapy assessment for mum? I have read that there are lots of electronic gadgets available to help with various things. Does mum have a Lifeline? Would it be appropriate for mum to have a late visit Carer to help her get ready for bed? Some areas also have emergency night time carers (sadly not my own). Might be worth asking SSD and the GP (if you haven't done so already) if anything like that exists in your area.
didnt read your post properly and made a useless suggestion, sorry
Mum has a double team four times a day, to hoist her out of her 'hospital' bed, toilet her twice and hoist her to bed at night. Yes she has an alarm but when she was in distress last week forgot how to press the button, or the other large glowing button on the phone next to the bed. Once in bed she cannot sit up or turn over. I'm only 5 mins away and I have been relying on the fact that she could call if needed, but that's not so certain now although she has pressed it since that night to call for aid when her house alarm was beeping. She also has an electric chair to move about in and a rising chair to relax in and put her feet up.
Frito wrote:didnt read your post properly and made a useless suggestion, sorry
Didn't get to see that post anyway Frito.
Hi Elaine, that's the maximum care available, in my area at least. I'm afraid that very soon a nursing home will be the only option left to mum which can meet mums NEEDS , although it's not what either of you want. The same situation that my own mum was in. I would definitely suggest an initial viewing of the nursing homes in your area, as soon as possible. However, has she had an "NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist Assessment?" If not, ask your GP to arrange one as soon as possible. If granted, additional care at home, or nursing home fees, would be entirely free. Make sure you are present at the assessment and that you are given a copy after completion. Google it for more information.