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Pre paid funerals - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Pre paid funerals

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Jenny:
the cost of getting her body there will be high, so I suspect she's getting a cremation, and only the ashes interred.
There is no law, as far as I am aware, preventing you from sticking the coffin on the roof bars of a Skoda, and driving it up the M6 in style.
Scally, it's been a long and painful journey, one of the reasons I try to help others avoid some of the pitfalls and minefields I've met. However, there have always been things I refuse to give up, that are "non negotiable". So this evening I've been watching Vera on TV whilst going through a few of my unfinished sewing projects which will soon be complete now I just have one caree and I'm a part time carer. I might go around in jeans and a T shirt/sweatshirt but my special "me"things are regular hairdresser and beautician appointments. Most important of all, I have my garden. Here I can sit on the patio with a coffee in peace, or dig the veg patch when I've been irritated by officialdom!
Sounds fair enough. I'm a bit of a paradox: love dressing up to the nines when needs must, but always keep a plastic sheet in the boot of the car in case I see a bit of roadkill deer on my travels, and quite happy to butcher it for the freezer on my own back patio. So, when it comes to funerals, I care more about the substance than keeping up appearances: I don't mind dressing for the occasion, but I see no point in being excessively sentimental or remote from the practicalities: I'd rather spend money on a decent meal and a free bar for friends and rellies than on flowers, fancy black limos and a mahogany coffin with gilded handles.

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Scally, what a wonderful image!!!! We could do it too - my son's car has roofbars, and he routinely piles his couple of surfboards on the roof, and straps them on - so we could do the same with a coffin!

Bet people would take photos and it would be on YouTube in no-time!!!!

I'm not sure MIL would find it amusing though!

Though, that said, she once tell me that she was in silent stitches all the way down on the train from Glasgow, years ago, on the way to visit us in London, and she was sitting across from a couple of women who waxed very loudly and very indignantly how during the wake of their grandmother, she'd been laid out in her coffin at home, surrounded by lit candles as the rest of the family celebrated her long life, and one of the candles fell into the coffin and set fire to it (the coffin lining, I think, not Gran herself!).....and that now they were battling with the insurance company to claim for a 'Fire Damaged Coffin'.....

So, yes, maybe MIL would enjoy on last 'Ride of the Valkyries' (!) up the M5 and M6.....it would certainly be good if she could be laid beside her husband, whom she lost over 30 years ago now. They would be together at last (and BOTH looking down from their clouds!)(though I suspect her husband would be teeing off on the Celestial Golf Course - she was something of a gold widow even when he was alive!)

Slightly more seriously, I suspect good old Elven Safety would stipulate firm rules about transferring coffins, wouldn't they? Again, I must check it out sometime. It certainly is worth thinking about. (And, again, more seriously, it wouldn't actually mean piling the coffin on the roof - I'm sure it would fit inside my bro's 4x4 - slightly more dignified!)

Thank you for the suggestion.

(Also, again something I must check out, although MIL is a devout atheist, she was raised as a catholic - hmm, probably a connection there! - and I THINK with RC they prefer interrments not cremations? But maybe I'm wrong on that?? If not, it would be nice, I think, for her to 'go out' the way she 'came in'.....might get her her passport to her cloud a little faster! :) )
More seriously (and I hope I'm not offending with my levity - though really, being 'gently humourous' can help to soften tragedy I think - but that can be controversial, and the timing has to be right - I can remember after my husband died any 'comedies' that dealt with death were just knifewounds...)

So, more seriously....

I do think funerals are celebrations, and that the deceased are 'present' - maybe 'really' present in their 'new form' as I hope, but if not, then certainly in our hearts and memories.

I am glad that these days celebrants, whether religious or lay, are so favourable to 'personal funerals' where the family and congregation can give their own readings, their own 'statements' so to speak, and pay their own tributes.

A terrible funeral I went to some years ago (a mother dying of cancer, when her children were not yet adult) was one of the most memorable I have been to - it was a 'Quaker/CoE' funeral in a CofE church, and I can vividly remember that the Quaker element included inviting the congregation to 'speak'. One of her friends was a singer, and he simply stepped out and 'sang' for her. It was incredibly moving.

At another funeral, that of a friend of mine who'd finally been beaten by breast cancer, her brother asked all of her friends to wear something brightly coloured, as well as black, as she'd always loved 'rainbow colours' - so we all came with bright scarves and hats (it was winter), as well as our black coats.

But the essence of a funeral is what feels right, at the time. And when money is tight, we can compensate with things that come from the heart.
(Sorry, don't know why that duplicated. I'm finding the forum is 'gluing' a bit this morning, don't know if it is for anyone else, or it's just my rain-sodden internet connection!)
Jenny.
It's sticking for me too. I was getting irritated thinking it was my fault for upgrading. Will think twice about that in future! At least I know now it's not that I hope.
I was of course, kidding on about the roof-rack: 8-) but a long-distance hearse is very expensive, and a self-drive hired transit van to transport the coffin and deceased would be perfectly OK and much more discreet. I suspect most funeral places actually use plain unmarked vans for long distance transport already, because I have never seen a hearse stopping at a motorway service station. Presumably one would arrange to pick up the body and coffin from the local mortuary or undertakers, and deliver it respectfully to the chosen undertakers at the other end of the country prior to the funeral, or even possibly direct to the cemetery or crematoria leaving plenty of time in case of traffic delays. Now, some people would find that upsetting, others would not: personally it would not bother me at all to drive a dead relative long-distance and I would probably find the journey very reflective: a form of last service to the deceased.

There are online guides available for DIY funerals. Best to plan ahead and consider how one would want arrangements to be made for oneself of a loved one: the day after a death is not the best time to spend feverishly phoning around for quotes or researching favourite music. "fail to prepare: prepare to fail".
Pet66 wrote:Jenny.
It's sticking for me too. I was getting irritated thinking it was my fault for upgrading. Will think twice about that in future! At least I know now it's not that I hope.
My post stuck too ...
sorry folks - the forum does seem a bit 'slow' this morning - just hope it's not a precursor to it crashing !
I'll highlight it to Admin for the IT guys to check it out.