Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hi everyone
Just a bit of advice for anyone who is hesitant about taking Power of Attorney for loved ones. Please don't hesitate. As some of you know I've had to go down the Court of Protection route as hubby's dementia came on very quickly. Have the certificates now. It's not ended though. Even more money to pay out. Someone from the guardianship office, contacting me next week to discuss with me the ins and outs. At a cost and it's not just a few pounds. I had no choice. If you have a choice it's much easier and far less intrusive to go for POA.
Thanks Pet, and its so good of you to think of others when you have so much to deal with
Had an email from the Court of Protection office. They are satisfied with my handling of hubby's account, and do not require anything else from me this year. Thank goodness. The cost of all this would have paid for my much needed refurbishment bathroom!
Just a quick reminder of anyone who is hesitant about POA. I've just paid another bill for their services! Soon will be the deputy bond yearly invoice.
Pet, I totally agree! No one has PoA for my MIL - so a COP is the only option if she runs out of money in her bank account! (ie, she has some extra funds but in places I can't get at - no one can!)

One thing that shocked me re COP was, as you mention, that we would have to put down a bond of quite a of money, for quite a few years, to 'ensure' that we weren't 'embezzling' my MIL's funds.

That one really scared me. To have that kind of 'legal and financial liability' is NOT what anyone would take on if one could avoid it.
Just adding my agreement to all this. About 2 months before I lost Dad I was knee deep in papers from Court of Protection. At the 11th hour before I submitted the application I was persuaded by another forum that it was not too late to apply for POA.
I was advised to "surround myself by people who understood" and this I did.
It is always advisable to remember that capacity comes and capacity goes so to stretch the limits you need an impartial witness (with no financial interest but can be a friend) on a good day. You do not need to involve a solicitor or professional of any kind. I submitted the POA application and got the letter confirming it would be awarded once the people who needed to be notified were duly notified- in our case they just wrote to dad . Dad passed away before the final paperwork arrived but I was very glad not to have had to send all dad's financial affairs off to total strangers to peruse for COP- he would have just hated it if he had known.
My lovely husband would hate it if he knew. I hate that I have to submit expenditure each year. ( Pay for the privalege too) However, although I have advised people to sort POA whilst they can I don't want to be a scaremonger. As long as you keep track, be mindful it's ok. I could, if I wanted to, buy a birthday/ Christmas gift for myself, as hubby did, as long as I don't go silly. I don't, wouldn't dream of it. I asked the COP if it was ok to purchase grandsons football gear, as hubby would have wanted to do that. No problem, they made a note, I have the details, grandson ís happy. Should I feel concerned I would ask.
So íf anyone hasn't the choice then try not to be too alarmed. Just hope you can get other means sorted before you go down that route.
Yes indeed, I think the CoP aren't really interested in day to day stuff as long as you are not going on cruises, buying the odd car or house etc but it is still a case of having to hand over a lot of private financial stuff that no one would normally share.
There is info on another site for dementia with examples where the COP have agreed quite a handsome wage for the family carer that most of us would never dream of taking.

Perhaps the best advice to the newbies is to start with COP at the very beginning and make sure you get paid for your endeavors rather than leaving it for the estate to be divied out later.

You can also make same application for payment on POA applications although I think by the time you are providing this level of care that you feel you need a awage, you are genrally too busy to cope with the paperwork. Far far better to get it all sorted in the early stages before capacity, Social Services, Care Homes etc start to feature in the equation.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. All I can honestly say is get it put in place.

Setting up POA/LPA is almost effortless as there's no doubt of capacity/soundness of mind etc

The alternative of going through COP for the deputy-ship is absolutely god awful though and puts you in a scenario where your loved one may actually die before you get an answer.

Thats without considering the substantial backlog COP is dealing with at the moment, and how burnt out the judge is, in regards to their level of understanding/sympathy of the individual/family's situation. By that I mean you can be going above/beyond doing everything right with absolute transparency and the judge can still turn around and say no because they simply lack understanding themselves.

They generally tend not to be eager to appoint deputies much either outside of emergencies which are usually done via a court order as/when required anyhow.

I've gone through both processes for different caree's with varying sets of needs.

Deputy-ship was easily one of my most frustrating and negative experiences because I was practically left with no other choice than to pursue it. The caree in question has outlived a parent, the other hadn't been involved in day to day care for many years due to their own health and frankly, leaving a CHC assessor who has had literally less than 60 minutes "face time" with the caree in the last 6 years as the one making life-affecting decisions for the person was absolutely no choice at all.

Particularly when it became clear they were trying to unnecessarily force the person into a care system which would had killed them under the premise of funding misinformation.
Personally, I find the most frustrating thing is the inability to even FIND OUT what money the caree has!

My MIL still has a bank account with some savings in it, but I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH!

The bank won't tell me, as I don't have PoA, and she, poor soul, is now 'away with the fairies' and hasn't the faintest idea what is going on around her.

So, I can't tell the LA how much money she's got left, because I don't know and the bank won't tell me! They won't send the statements to me as she never signed a change of address form (and her flat is long sold!)

It's SO frustrating. I don't want to spend her money, I want to know how close she is to having to apply for LA funding, that's all!

There should be a way of getting the financial information, separate from having any 'spending power' over it!