PLUS SIZE STRUGGLES!!!

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hi me again, a bit of a drama has unfolded lately with my wife. (not toward anyone she is just really low) there are no longer any shops in our hometown that sells clothes that will fit her. She isn't a huge lade but the shops only stock to size 20 (and to be honest they are not a size 20 in most) we struggle to get out of our town as travel and crowds are difficult for her autism,
I tell her all the time that she is gorgeous and she has come so far in loving herself, but losing places to shop has really hit her hard which i totally understand. I have shown her some online shops with clear size guides and we have gotten her a couple of bits of bits for our honeymoon (this October!) but sadly our past encounter with online shopping involved ordering a size 24, getting sent a label saying 24 on jeans that fit me (Men small) wife was devastated. we attempted to work things out and send them back only to have the online shop tell us they don't do clothes for "fat people" (long story, very angry hubby here and 3 weeks of arguing to get our money back)

does anyone know of any affordable reliable plus size places/shops i can get her some sneaky honeymoon treats?

Simply be, curvissa, yours are all too pricey.

(Not being stingy just struggling financially)
'We women' alas know that when a garment says 'Size Whatever' that it is NOT necessarily the same across all outlets!

ie, a 'size 18' in one shop, is not necessarily a size 18 in another.

I don't know why - one would think sizes should be standard (OK, in the USA they are all 'stepped down' - so a size 12 over here would be a size 18 over there or whatever).

I can remember in my youth loving to shop at Wallis, as I could fit into a Size 10 (I was 'really' a 14)(long gone, sigh).

It should be possible online, surely, to go by what they are giving in actual metric or imperial fit - that should be unambiguous at least. Somewhere on the website it should say, shouldn't it? Or the phone line should spell it out?

I would take your wife's actual measurements (in metric and imperial) then ensure than anything she buys on line is at least to that measure.

It still won't be perfect, alas, as women come in different shapes, as well as sizes. We can have slimmer waists and fatter hips, or the other way round, and of course bust size can make a huge difference as to whether something actually fits us or not.

May I just say, though, that it's really, really, really important both from a medical health point of view AND just as importantly from a self-esteem point of view, for your wife NOT to be as heavy as she sadly is. It is not doing her any good at all.

What can the both of you do to improve your health, and take your wife back to a size that is much healthier - and happier?

I appreciate she has to tackle issues surrounding her autism, but all the same, there should be no reason why cutting back on food intake, switching to healthier foods, and, even more importantly, taking up activities that exercise the body more, is not impossible for her?

We 'fat people' (and yes, I am one too, and struggle endlessly now) ALWAYS know we ARE fat, and no amount of avoiding the word makes any difference. We KNOW we have to shift the pounds, so 'denial' is really not an option. (Sigh!)
Hi David,
There are very few shops where you can actually try on plus size clothes nowadays. The three places you mention are all very reasonable, especially Yours (actually there is an actual Yours shop in my town, but I don't know where you are). If you unfortunately can't afford to buy from them, all I can think of it phoning round the charity shops. They often have new items at cheap prices, and maybe you can find one that has a big stock of clothes. Make sure if you buy online that you can send things back free of postage charges.

Here's a Daily Mirror article with some more links - some cheap, some not:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/style/plus ... ne-5975117

Later note: I have been told that some of Sainsbury's TU clothing range fits bigger sizes than you might think.
I'm afraid you won't find anything any good much cheaper than Curvissa, Simply Be, Ambrose Wilson. However, if you sign up to their websites you will be told of some great special offers, sale bargains etc. once you give them your email address.
I am also larger than average, I find Lands End do great tall fitting clothes. Again, give them your email, they often have sales up to 70% off. Their T shirts last for years, I'm still using a blouse I bought before I went to Australia in 2003!
How long something lasts is far more important than the price paid.
You might find something in George (Asda) on line but beware their sizes are smaller than M & S especially skirts and trousers. They certainly go up to size 20- however do I know that? :roll:

https://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/women ... oup-_-Sale

http://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/sale/c ... e-clothing
Peacocks have regular sales. Sizes go to 22. It's online as well as shops in shopping centres. I bought 2 tops, quite modern, a zip design on the upper chest. My tops from marks are generally a 16. ( It's true what Jenny explained, that sizes vary so much from shop to shop) The peacocks one are a 14. Pleasantly surprised at the quality, so another place to try.
I'm appalled that a shop used the word fat! Rude, and untrue in many cases.
Greta wrote:
Sun Aug 26, 2018 5:52 pm
Hi David,
There are very few shops where you can actually try on plus size clothes nowadays. The three places you mention are all very reasonable, especially Yours (actually there is an actual Yours shop in my town, but I don't know where you are). If you unfortunately can't afford to buy from them, all I can think of it phoning round the charity shops. They often have new items at cheap prices, and maybe you can find one that has a big stock of clothes. Make sure if you buy online that you can send things back free of postage charges.

Here's a Daily Mirror article with some more links - some cheap, some not:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/style/plus ... ne-5975117

Later note: I have been told that some of Sainsbury's TU clothing range fits bigger sizes than you might think.
Our charity shop (a local hospice one) always has a very large range of 'plus size' ladies clothing in sizes 20 to 24, a lot of which are new. Average prices for tops is around £3 - £4 (a bit higher for brand new clothing); for skirts and trousers about the same and dresses start at around £4 - £5. Unfortunately most charity shops don't sell underwear, but shops like Matalan do have a wide range of 'plus' size bras for under £10. Most charity shops won't give refunds but will exchange for something else to the same value - so it's worth checking that out if you're buying for someone else.
For any online buying try to find a site that offer 'free returns'. That means you can order several items in different sizes, try them on at leisure and return unwanted items free of any postage charges.

Then when she does find something she likes she can order another 2 or 3 in different colours and put them away for a few months.

There's also eBay for second hand items, lots of larger sizes always in there. And you can make money by selling her used items. As you are discovering there is a market out there.
In general, the cheaper shops skimp on the amount of material, as they have to to keep the prices low.

I could never understand the fuss that was being made in the press a short while ago that 'large' shoppers were being 'discriminated against' by being charged more money for larger sized clothes!

For heaven's sake, the larger the body, the more material is required, hence the price difference.

Simples!
thank you all.
i just want to add to my post as i didn't mention it before. my wife's always been plus size (apart from an abusive ex relationship when she dropped to a size 8 from a size 22 in less than 6 months after being starved) her doctor has told her he is happy with her weight as due to medical issues she is unable to significantly loose weight now. she is now at a size 22 on top and 24 on bottom.

i have checked out all options an dam going to keep trying as the amount we can afford to spend is pretty much under £30 to get clothes for our honeymoon due to financial difficulties.

i've tried our local shops again but they only go up to a 20. (some tops may fit her but trousers/jeans are no where near plus size.

My wife has had another cry this afternoon (her sister who is also large due to over drinking, over eating and spending all day on the sofa) said that my wife has obviously gained more weight and everyone has noticed.
im very angry as in fact my wife has lost about 5 pounds this month and is working really hard on her exercise bike, diet and walking etc.

why do people have to be so flipping rude???