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Finding respite - Carers UK Forum

Finding respite

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Social Services have "given" my mother, I suppose I am included, weeks of respite
All very nice, but that is as far as the help goes. Does anyone else have trouble actually
finding homes that do take respite customers, because the replies I usually get from homes
is, "we don't do respite care" So, I run myself ragged running from home to home
The last two times ,when I have finally found a home, I have ended up in hospital ,with a Diverticula flare ,due to the stress.
I've come up against the same problem in my area. Spent two months and many many phone calls before I found a place for my mum. Many homes that do "offer" respite only do so if that have an empty "permanent" bed which you can only book two weeks before you need it. Not helpful if you or partner work or you have school age children. Eventually I found two places that had some dedicated respite beds, one of them was NHS contracted and I would have to apply to head office to get permission to book privately. Thankfully the other will take bookings six months in advance and look after Mum very well. I was talking to her GP who told me he had been trying to get a respite home off the ground but had been told by our local authority that there was no call for it ! One of the care home managers I spoke to said she used to manage a respite home that was booked up 95% of the time. Wish I had the money to start one myself
Have you tried carehome.co.uk they usually list if they can provide respite care, maybe a starting point.
Good luck with the hunt

That is exactly the problem I had. I think I tried 25 homes! In the end I was desperate enough to put mum into one which had a less than glowing CQC report. I know that this is a route where you would have to proceed with caution. In fact it worked very well as the home was desperate to improve AND they had less than the normal number of residents so staff to resident levels were high. I was lucky but it may be worth trying.

Also worth trying any new homes recently opened or asking your local branch of Age UK.

Good luck, I know it is not easy, Anne
In my area, Social Services have gradually closed most of their residential homes, in accordance with government policy. I know that the SSD homes always had to have a number of "Emergency Respite" beds, but by definition, that meant they were not always occupied. However, in the "free market" that means that the room is not making it's rightful profit. Another example of how policy doesn't always reflect the needs of people. I'm not pro any political party, none of them seem to understand the realities of life!
Hi Jac,

Completely get where you're coming from, in the same position myself.
I found a lovely residential home run by LA, mum stayed there once (it was a really good home) but then her banding changed and they couldn't accept her. So back to private homes who don't let you book longer than three weeks in advance in case they get a permanent placement.
I have selected 7 different homes within the local area, me and mum have looked round them all and had her assessments done with each home so at least she's on their books, so to speak. Luckily every time I've needed respite a few of them have availability, and she's already been assessed by them so I can just drop her in.
It's never got to the point where none have availability, but if that was the case then I would go back to social services and ask them to increase her care package for the time I'm away. I appreciate your circumstances may be different.
At least there are homes for elderly people to go to even if places are limited. My 29 year old son will have nowhere to go once he is kicked out of the children's hospice as adult hospices don't cater for the younger adult age group and don't provide respite anyway.

Frito, I'm puzzled by your reference to a change of banding?
I think it's to do with local authority funding per needs Bowlingbun.
When mum was first assessed for respite she was able to walk with a frame (but had to be supervised by one due to falls risk). Now she can't walk and has to use a rotunda to stand and transfer to a wheelchair, this means she needs two carers. So her banding (ie the amount of money social services will contribute to her care) has increased to reflect her increased mobility needs. I think.
The local authority home could only accept service users upto a certain banding - for risk purposes I think, so once her banding increased they could no longer accept her. Shame because she had been there whilst using a rotunda, they were happy to accept her. However her banding then increased to reflect the fact she was using a rotunda and then they couldn't accept her.

Eun - I also sympathise. My sis needs her bedroom decorated, she has no age or peer appropriate facility to use. We had an nhs young disabled unit but they've restricted referrals to those with acquired brain injuries.
Hi Frito, thanks for the explanation. The difference between a care home and a nursing home is usually the ability to walk. Once hoists, two nurses, and a wheelchair are involved, that becomes "nursing" care. The local authority financial contribution towards mum's respite should reflect the much higher cost of nursing home care. If they accept that she is entitled to respite, but don't offer enough for you to pay for a nursing home, that is unlawful. By challenging my mum's local authority on this point, I saved her £8,000. Full details in the CRAG - Charging for Residential Accommodation Guide.

I am fairly new to all this as my husband only had a stroke a few months ago but part of our rehab was to be allowed respite to give me a break from caring. I would never have considered using a nursing home as we are still very young (39 ish :lol: very ish) my social worker suggested looking elsewhere at different options and we just came back from a "respite break holiday" in Blackpool. They fully funded myself and all of the care support for my husband which was well needed. We stayed at the Bond Hotel in Blackpool which is a hotel adapted for people with disabilities wheelchairs and learning/mental. They had all of our equipment and provided the care but when we got chatting to other guests we found out that although we only need a couple of calls a day for hoisting and showering really other guests had full 24 hour support from young adults to elderly people - I know they cant do under 16s tho for care but they can go to stay for a holiday with parents. There was entertainment every night and the food was really yummy. I am a bit concerned now that everyone thinking care homes instead of this might mean we may be pushed away from my new found bliss.

The hotel was brilliant and it was lovely to feel... well... normal for a better word. I would have stayed even if you had rolled the clock back 4 months. I also have 2 kids on the ASD spectrum and am currently working on putting the extra cash to take them with me next time to be a family and finally have some fun again.