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Lose a resident - Carers UK Forum

Lose a resident

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hello all

I am a new member,but I work as a carer for a few years.
I am working on a nursing home. Two weeks ago, we lost a resident.
He was very special,for me. I liked him very much as he liked me.
Every day,I went to his room to see him and how he was.
Every day he asked me when came back.
I has a few days off and,when came back, he told me that he missed me. That's lovely to hear.
Now he's gone :( and I miss him so much.
I feel so sad. Cried a lot,when he gone.
The problem is I stil feeling sad. I'm stil crying. Wake in the middle of the night, crying.
I don't know what to do. I have to work and take care of the other residents.
I would love to have some help. Thank you
Always pleasing to hear from a paid care worker with genuine feelings not in one's job description.

Welcome to our world , CarerLand ... 8 million + family / kinship carers ... wherein most emotions often take second place to the actual caring.

For far too many , the caring stops only on our death ... or the death of the caree.
I do feel you need to offload to your manager. There is no disgrace feeling this way. However, it's important to let you manager know how you feel. Keeping things in doesn't help us move forward. It's always double sad this time of year. You are in a state of bereavement even though it's work. You are very human. You can't always be expected to turn your emotions off/on. All companies have to provide a listen ear. And if needs be counselling. You own that to all the other residents.
Hello and welcome!

Have you talked to the care home manager or not? Discuss things with him and see if he can help or not. He may be able to provide suggestions and tips. And it is a pleasure to find a genuine down to earth employed careworker. They seem to be a incredibly rare find these days. Unfortunately. Best wishes! I hope things work out for you.
sunnydisposition wrote:
Wed Dec 11, 2019 8:21 pm
I do feel you need to offload to your manager. There is no disgrace feeling this way. However, it's important to let you manager know how you feel. Keeping things in doesn't help us move forward. It's always double sad this time of year. You are in a state of bereavement even though it's work. You are very human. You can't always be expected to turn your emotions off/on. All companies have to provide a listen ear. And if needs be counselling. You own that to all the other residents.

Thank you so much. And yes, I did talk to my manager. Or she came to talk with me. She understood my feelings and said that I can always talk to the nurses or with her.
"Feel free to express your feelings and ask for help". She was amazing. Everyone were amazing.
Tank you for your advice.

I feel a bit better, now. But its awful when I have to go to his room and is there a new resident. It's hard.
But life have to go on.
Excellent news! You have learnt a valuable lesson in caring. Always ask for help and don't go it alone.