Lifting...

[David_0406]

My wife has secondary progressive MS and is really suffering with the weather at the moment due to the heat. She cannot get to the loo independently and I'm having to lift her on and off from her wheelchair.. I'm nearing retirement and cannot do this much longer as I'm suffering with a slipped disc now...
Where do I turn for help ? As there seems no help out there as far as I can see

[susieq]

Hi David

I suggest you contact your local occupational therapy department - you can often self refer, but if not your GP will be able to refer you.

They will be able to assess your wife's (and your) abilities and offer mobility aids to help you get her from chair to toilet and vice versa. When my Mum couldn't manage independently they gave us a toilet 'surround' which was a great help and a commode for the bedroom that she could just about manage on her own. Arranging for care assistants to help with the lifting is not much use as I doubt your wife can "plan" when she's going to need the loo !

[David_0406]

Thanks Susieq
My wife struggles to transfer and we have purchased many aids to make life easier... she is fiercely independent but is really struggling. I'm seeing my GP tomorrow for an unrelated issue but I'll mention it.

[Ayjay]

When my wife could still weight bear but struggled to walk we used a turntable to transfer her from her wheel chair to the loo/armchair/car seat or whatever. As long as she could stand it worked fine, she stands up on the prepositioned turntable and I spin her around to the appropriate position and then she sits down again.

Turntable:- https://www.nrshealthcare.co.uk/mobilit ... -turntable

Since her last stay in hospital she can no longer weight bear (she couldn't when she went in) and is now transferred using a hoist. It's one hell of a palaver just to put her onto the commode but it's the only way.

If you already have a slipped disc you must stop lifting her - you'll get enough of a workout putting the sling for the hoist in place as it is.

I'm no weakling having been a self employed carpenter all of my working life but I've been retired now for three years and my muscles aren't what they were, (I'd noticed this over the last two/three years of working anyway) I used to lift my wife off the floor prior to her last stay in hospital but we had a technique for this which worked well when her legs still had some go in them. I certainly wouldn't do it now with no help from her legs at all.

No more lifting David, it's not worth it.

[David_0406]

My wife can definitely no longer weight bear so transferring to a chair, loo, stair lift,shower seat is totally reliant on me lifting her into position.
GPs are aware of me lifting and tell me not to but offer no help or support...
It's exhausting and I'm just about holding down a full time job but I think I need some time off to get some respite...
I can hear your advice Alexander and I'll investigate a hoist

[Ayjay]

My wife can definitely no longer weight bear so transferring to a chair, loo, stair lift,shower seat is totally reliant on me lifting her into position.
GPs are aware of me lifting and tell me not to but offer no help or support...
It's exhausting and I'm just about holding down a full time job but I think I need some time off to get some respite...
I can hear your advice Alexander and I'll investigate a hoist

Our hoist was supplied by our local "Equipment Services" at the instigation of the OT dept. at the hospital, they're not cheap at approx £1600 but there doesn't seem to be any means testing involved here with equipment of that ilk.

I'm surprised that your GP hasn't suggested something similar, (but I can't claim to know how the system works - it's fairly baffling at times).

I do know that all the physios we've met over the last couple of years have been completely adamant that I don't lift my wife, and she's only 8.5 stone, they weren't even happy about it me doing it when she could weight bear but still needed some help getting up at times.

[David_0406]

We've had health visitors and OH people plus a recent PIP interview at home and it's more than obvious I have to lift my wife for a multitude of reasons, most commented I shouldn't be lifting but offered no alternative.
It just breeds frustration and anger with the whole system.... I really do despair at times

[Chris From The Gulag]

most commented I shouldn't be lifting but offered no alternative.
It just breeds frustration and anger with the whole system.... I really do despair at times

David ... for what it's worth , I , and many other lone carers , have faced the same problem ... and agree whole heartedly with your conclusion.

In most situations , any notion of personal injury or Health & Safety ( Alf and Eddie ) goes out the window.

Your there , on the spot , possibly 24/7 , nobody else is , or wants to be ... your caree is in distress ... what do you do ?

It's your decision ... and your caree's to accept ... that's always been the way for far too many carers.

A care worker can refuse to do something as they weren't trained for it ... can a lone family carer in a practical situation ?

One to one caring is also a matter of judgement ... every relationship different in some ways ... in extreme cases , seconds can make a difference.

Get it wrong and there could be consequences ... par for the course in CarerLand ... the downside to what we all do.

... and you're THE gaffer when it comes to caring ... the only " Label " than can be truly attributed to a family carer !

Outside aides ?

Like walking around a supermarket looking at different things ... " Will that device REALLY be of a practical use when I use it instead of what I've always done ? " .... some will buy , others won't.

Never looked around a hospital and seen " Recommended " devices and aids ... and the staff struggling to use them ?

The " Book " spells out rights and wrongs ... trouble is , that book is not doing the caring !

I broke more " Rules " than have probably been written ... gps / nurses wagging their finger , and smiling , at the same time ... but it worked well in my case.

One time ... nurse did suggest something different ... to which I replied ... " Fine ... wanna swop places ... and salaries ? " ... she backed down ... after reconsidering the change from my perspective ... and my own ability ... learning the " Art " of caring almost from day to day ... after several years !

Art ? A surrealist's nightmare !

Never let the ... System ... grind you down !

Have the next one on me !

None of those suits will ever offer that !

[David_0406]

Thanks Chris
It's always reassuring to know I'm not alone... the supporting on this site is invaluable !

[Chris From The Gulag]

Your welcome.

Only a carer , current or former , can hear a fellow carer scream ... and understand the problems he / she faces on a daily basis.

The words SOLIDARITY and MUTUAL ASSISTANCE spring to mind ... the very essence of Carerland ... despite the challenges , those on the outside , continually throw at us.