Info about Next of Kin

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Came across this on twitter. May be of interest to members here ... _ecopy.pdf

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Hi Rosemary. Thank you for the link.
I've read the link, but thinking ahead in my situation, hasn't answered my train of thought.
I've Poa on behalf of my mum (both health and wealth), who had a stroke and is mentally capable.
If the worst happened, I realise that the Poa goes with it. Without going into too much detail, in my mum,s will, my stepfather receives nothing and everything is split equally between my 2 sisters and myself, with the elder sister being the executor.
With "next of kin" would my sister have then the final say? Eg burial.
I know things could be solved before hand, but never an easy subject to broach.
Hi rosemary thanks for sharing but i am afraid it only provide limited perspective...
Nicholas, are you sure your elder sister is the sole executor? Usually there are two, in case one dies or can't act.
In any case, the executor should respect whatever the will says (it may specify burial or cremation for example) and any reasonable executor would also talk to the rest of the family about the funeral arrangements.
Some of my family were brought up in the Muslim faith, so when mum died we had a "civil celebrant" and a non religious service. The celebrant was lovely, really caught the essence of mum, and as he was sometimes on Radio Solent, which I listen to regularly, I felt I knew him already.
I've lost six close family members and from this experience I would say it's really so much easier if the relatives accept that someone is not going to get better and think and talk about what the person concerned would like, especially favourite music. Make notes of everything, then when the time comes, there is a ready made plan of action. (Crematoriums have access to an enormous database of music, so you don't have to provide it, just tell them what you want). This will then ensure that the person concerned is given the best possible send off.
Also think about who needs to be told when the end is near, and who should be invited to the funeral.
It is also much better to work out which funeral director you will use (some research on cost is a very good idea before deciding!) and then have a word with the company beforehand. My father in law refused to do this after MIL had a stroke. I came home to find an answerphone message for my husband "Your mother has died, will you please tell us what you want us to do with the body!"
Agreement should be reached about whether to have some sort of "wake" afterwards, and the budget.
My mum was in a nursing home for the last year of her life. Before I went away for a much needed holiday, which the GP said I must take whatever happened as I'd been ill, I spoke to the funeral director and gave clear instructions to the home.
Happily, my mum lived a little longer, but with preparations in place, when her time came we have a lovely service for family members only, absolutely as mum would have liked. As the crem. was some distance from home, we finished with a cream tea in the garden room of a local club.