This is a nasty subject and something the 'professionals' are little help with. When my father first started I got a visit from the impressively named 'Incontinence Team' who simply provided me with a booklet detailing what I could buy. After much searching I found a fairly good site called http://www.incontinenceshop.com/
from whom I buy Vlesi Pants VAT free, these are pull up incontinence pants and are far easier to use if you are caring for someone who is uncooperative.
I have a commode, a hospital style bed (that I can raise and lower) and a wet room. The wet room has proved invaluable as I can wheel my father in there and clean him up whilst he is sitting on his commode. If you don't have a wet room then you need to contact your social worker and ask for help in getting one.
Once I've cleaned my father up, I put a pair of pull ups on his legs as high as they'll go then nip him into the bedroom and onto his bed. Incidently I use a pampers bedmat on the bed to stop the sheets being soiled, both at night and during changing. Once my father is on the bed I roll him from side to side pulling the pad up. With practice this whole process can be carried out in around 5 minutes. I then dress him as far as needed on the bed.
As for UTIs, my father suffered with repeated UTIs until I discovered that using Drapoline as a barrier cream prevents faecal and urinary contamination. I smear it onto his genitals after his morning shower and it seems to prevent infections; he's been UTI free for eight months now.
I use a VAX to clean up any accidents and have carpet squares in his bedroom so that I can replace sections if they become too badly soiled. This is a horrible transition to make but one that is manageable providing you get the right setup and advice.
Hope this information helps someone,