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I am being bullied at a care home - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

I am being bullied at a care home

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
thara_1910 wrote:
Wed Nov 27, 2019 5:09 pm
Good luck!
I replied to your PM earlier.You have prob seen it:)
Bullying is extremely difficult to tackle and control.
About the bully.....Would she cope outside of this home?
Where would she go?
Would she behave like that outside the protective confines of the care home?
Your neighbour is a person who is behaving this way because - deep beneath the surface - she is expressing how she feels about herself. She knows that she will not be able to survive the harsh realities of being outside the care home.
The bully needs to keep her place. To keep control.
This situation gives the bully a great opportunity to utilise and manipulate the management/stewardship of an organisation.
This is because the management want to 'keep the peace'.
The bully depends on the home. Her power comes from living in the care home.
This leads on to the next issue which seriously concerns you. The '28 day verbal notice'.
Leave voluntarily or let the management expel/evict you from the home?
For the management to evict you, they will need a genuine reason for this and will also require evidence to prove that you cannot live at the care home.
It may be worth seriously considering the fact that you will be better off being evicted rather than leaving of your own free will.
Being expelled from the home means that you will be entitled to further help from the social services.
Leave voluntarily and you will not get priority assistance.
Firstly. Give consideration to your personal needs regarding your illness/condition when looking for alternative accommodation.
Will you be able to afford the costs?
Will the accommodation be suitable for your needs because of your situation?
It will be easier for the management if you choose to leave voluntarily.
The '28 day notice' is likely to be a threat in order to encourage you to leave quietly.
If anything. By staying where you are, you may find it easier to get access to further assistance via the social services. One example will be to find the accommodation that will suit your needs.
There is nothing to stop you researching this area and contacting social services in order to find the accommodation you require. Due to your circumstances, they should be able to offer you help.
Social housing/housing associations may be able to offer advice. Worth checking out.
You may get help with costs, so it's worth seeing if you are eligible.
On the subject of dealing with the bully, you could consider taking advice on assertiveness training. Having counselling may help you to understand and deal with the environment that you have the misfortune to be living in.
Although you cannot control the circumstances, you may be able change how you can deal with this situation.
The care home is obliged to offer you access to health services.
Your local doctor/nurse can refer you to a counsellor.
You do seem to need the psychological support as you appear to be having a hard time at the moment.
Try to spend some time away from the home if you can. You may benefit from some breathing space without the confinement of being inside for long periods.
Can you find some activities that involve being away from the care home?
It's unfortunate that the care home are letting you down like this because - in reality - it is the management's responsibility to ensure your well-being. They should be helping you to find your own independence anyway.
The care home should also be dealing with the bullying behaviour that you are experiencing.
They should at least have been trained to 'spot and deal' with this situation at an early stage.
Although a difficult subject. Bullying is best tackled as soon as identified. The care team should have addressed this.
However. There can be very deep, complex reasons as to why people become bullies and they can only be properly dealt with by experienced counsellors/therapists.
How are things lately OP?