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I am being bullied at a care home - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

I am being bullied at a care home

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Have things improved for you or not?
Denis_1610 wrote:
Sat Oct 26, 2019 9:16 am
Thanks, Undermyduvet, for your replies to my post and others'. We are learning a bit more about your situation.

It does not surprise me that your neighbour has mental problems. She is probably a very unhappy person at heart. This could be the reason why management is particularly attentive to her. This is probably more the reason why it is better for you not to try to battle with this person but secure a better position for yourself.

My previous recommendation is endorsed. Consult your doctor for guidance to finding new accommodation suited to your illness. Follow Bowlingbun's excellent advice about an advocate. You sound as though, despite your illness, you are strong in spirit and, with a little help from the right people, can steer yourself towards a better life. Best wishes and keep in touch.
Thanks for your kind reply Denis

My doctor doesn't know me or my history that well.I haven't been under him that long and have had to change doctors a couple of times as have had issues with them.
I have told my social worker my needs the best I can.She's not that easy to talk to but she seems like somebody who gets things done which is something.
Hello everyone

Undermyduvet is still around and hasn't disappeared under the covers for good but I have been very tired out so not had chance to post yet.


bowlingbun wrote:
Fri Oct 25, 2019 11:08 am
Under the Care Act, anyone who is "having difficulty making their voice heard" is entitled to an advocate.

From what you have just written, it is very clear that the neighbour is upsetting others, as well as you, and this needs to be addressed. Maybe it is just not the right place for the neighbour. However, I do have sympathy for the neighbour as well, because being moved is never easy. Maybe a review of the neighbour's medication might be in order?

However, you clearly need someone on your side, and an advocate would be able to do that. I have an advocate as even I have difficulty with Social Services!

Contact Social Services and ask for a Care Act Advocate to be appointed asap Don't take no for an answer, and be sure to write down the name of the person you speak to, date, and what was agreed. Stress it is URGENT as you feel threatened and it's not safe..
I can understand my neighbours point of view to an extent..It is never easy living somewhere that isn't right for your needs but it is hard to think of her and not feel hostile at the moment.Other people here have their own problems.I suffer from anxiety and have done for some time.My neighbour thinks the whole unit revolves around her.

Am waiting for an advocate but social worker said it might not be immediate.I have managed to get them to arrange a safeguarding meeting but am not clear on whether it is going to address the issues I am concerned about or if it is about other things.My social worker didn't clarify that part with them and could only guess really.Perhaps my advocate can find out.I hope I get one well before the meeting.


In reply to everybody..With regards to the legal side of things..I have been speaking to somebody online for advice.My mum has also managed to speak to somebody on the phone and what they told her surprised me.Most of my rent here is council funded so it sounds like the council have some say in the notice decision(and apparently they have their own solicitors)so it is up to them to decide whether what they have done is fair or not.So does this mean that that when they presented the notice to my former social worker that she could have contested it(through her bosses),am I not being given the full information by social services?It sounds like it has to be a mutual agreement.Does anyone know anything about this?
Thanks for bringing us up to date and saying a bit more about yourself.

It should not matter that you have not been with your present doctor for long. He should have access to your medical history and be able to advise you or any party with reason to be involved. I'm glad that you are moving forward towards an advocate.

You say that your accommodation expenses are being partially funded by the Council. I would expect that this would mean that the Council could have some say in how things progress, though I don't know, from the information we have, whether this would or would not act in your favour. You previously said that you were on notice to leave. Is this still the case, or has that notice been rescinded?
Denis_1610 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 2:40 pm
Thanks for bringing us up to date and saying a bit more about yourself.

It should not matter that you have not been with your present doctor for long. He should have access to your medical history and be able to advise you or any party with reason to be involved. I'm glad that you are moving forward towards an advocate.

You say that your accommodation expenses are being partially funded by the Council. I would expect that this would mean that the Council could have some say in how things progress, though I don't know, from the information we have, whether this would or would not act in your favour. You previously said that you were on notice to leave. Is this still the case, or has that notice been rescinded?
The doctors don't understand my illness.I had to see a specialist when I was initially diagnosed.I am looking for a bungalow anyway as I need my own space.

Yeah,I mentioned the notice in my last post.It still stands but I am trying to find out my options as I need more time and I have a safeguarding meeting coming up..Apparently the home have a contract with the council if you are council funded.I think the home is a private home but if it is council funded I wouldn't think this would make a difference.
Undermyduvet wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:40 pm
Denis_1610 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 2:40 pm
Thanks for bringing us up to date and saying a bit more about yourself.

It should not matter that you have not been with your present doctor for long. He should have access to your medical history and be able to advise you or any party with reason to be involved. I'm glad that you are moving forward towards an advocate.

You say that your accommodation expenses are being partially funded by the Council. I would expect that this would mean that the Council could have some say in how things progress, though I don't know, from the information we have, whether this would or would not act in your favour. You previously said that you were on notice to leave. Is this still the case, or has that notice been rescinded?
The doctors don't understand my illness.I had to see a specialist when I was initially diagnosed.I am looking for a bungalow anyway as I need my own space.

Yeah,I mentioned the notice in my last post.It still stands but I am trying to find out my options as I need more time and I have a safeguarding meeting coming up..Apparently the home have a contract with the council if you are council funded.I think the home is a private home but if it is council funded I wouldn't think this would make a difference.
When you attend the safeguarding meeting, find out your options. Speak up and also ask questions. Bring a pen to take notes during the meeting too. Insist on your concerns being addressed in a timely manner. Who will be at the meeting apart from you and your mom?
This is a link with more information on how safeguarding meetings work http://www.ersab.org.uk/EasysiteWeb/get ... Attachment
thara_1910 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 6:32 pm
Undermyduvet wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 5:40 pm
Denis_1610 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 2:40 pm
Thanks for bringing us up to date and saying a bit more about yourself.

It should not matter that you have not been with your present doctor for long. He should have access to your medical history and be able to advise you or any party with reason to be involved. I'm glad that you are moving forward towards an advocate.

You say that your accommodation expenses are being partially funded by the Council. I would expect that this would mean that the Council could have some say in how things progress, though I don't know, from the information we have, whether this would or would not act in your favour. You previously said that you were on notice to leave. Is this still the case, or has that notice been rescinded?
The doctors don't understand my illness.I had to see a specialist when I was initially diagnosed.I am looking for a bungalow anyway as I need my own space.

Yeah,I mentioned the notice in my last post.It still stands but I am trying to find out my options as I need more time and I have a safeguarding meeting coming up..Apparently the home have a contract with the council if you are council funded.I think the home is a private home but if it is council funded I wouldn't think this would make a difference.
When you attend the safeguarding meeting, find out your options. Speak up and also ask questions. Bring a pen to take notes during the meeting too. Insist on your concerns being addressed in a timely manner. Who will be at the meeting apart from you and your mom?
This is a link with more information on how safeguarding meetings work http://www.ersab.org.uk/EasysiteWeb/get ... Attachment
Thanks Thara.I am downloading the attachment.This could be really useful.

I doubt i'll be attending the safeguarding meeting myself as it isn't being held at the home.Even if it were possible to attend the thought of being in the same room as our manager for a whole meeting gives me chills.My advocate will probably go in my place and my mum will go too hopefully.

One major hitch is the safeguarding meeting isn't going ahead until just after the final eviction date.Am not sure why this is.I don't know if management will allow time for this as they don't seem to want the meeting.It is important I have a voice in all of this.What do I do?
The solution is simple.
Ask for the Safeguarding Meeting to be held at the home, WITHOUT the manager, as you are apparently about to leave!
The meeting could be held in stages, first talking to you, then perhaps with the manager, then with you. That's if you are staying.
Do you have any say in who attends the safeguarding meetings?The reason I ask is there's a professional who mentioned they might attend and I don't trust them and don't really want the meeting to go ahead if they are...regardless of whether I decide to go.This person has caused endless problems for me in the past(am not talking about the manager here...although I don't really feel comfortable with her going either)
Another update from me..having to use touchscreen so excuse typos

Theyre trying to postpone safeguarding meeting which is making me angry.I mean life is hell at the home and am close to deadline of letter.How urgent does it need to be?I have zero support and still waiting on advocate.
The lawyers have told us different things about where we stand with council9(we spoke to 3)two have said they should have some say about the notice as council fund a lot of my fees and the one I spoke to says that isnt neccessarily the case.Argh