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How can I help my wife find something for her? - Carers UK Forum

How can I help my wife find something for her?

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
My wife is autistic and has a range of other health issues. In 2020 she took a huge step and became an ambassador for a small brand that she adores and set up a facebook group and used it to promote sales, and even began hosting live video quizzes that started as a huge success and I am so proud of her for that.

But recently the company shut down the ambassador program and my wife was devastated because she said she had finally found something that made her proud of herself and allowed her to make a little money to save. She changed the group and continued with the games and quizzes as that's what tge people in her group told her they would love when she announced that she would no longer be an ambassador. So she did some more quizzes but out of 135 members she only has 4 people joining in. She has been overwhelmed and so depressed that she has made the decision to close the group. She is desperate to find something else but it can't be just becoming a rep for Avon or body shop as she hates them. It also can't make too much money because of her fear of losing benefits. She can't manage anything that involves her managing sales and deliveries herself (her ambassadors program just gave her a link for people to order through) she can't just sell anyone brand because like she says, "I can't sell something I'm not passionate about" I'm so upset for her as she was doing absolutely amazing and now its been taken away.
David,

maybe it needs to be another voluntary role. Perhaps contact the Voluntary Bureau in your area.

Also, some areas have a local branch of the National Autistic Society; ours has a few paid roles but also relies on volunteers to organise social events and courses etc. Due to Covid these are currently all online, so they may have openings.

Also look at https://www.smallgoodstuff.co.uk; in particular The Buzz. These are all activities offered for free at the moment due to the Pandemic, but a small fee is usually asked by the person running the session. Is this something she could do.

Melly1
thank you for your reply. My wife previously volunteered for 7 years at a preschool run by her mother but it closed suddenly (big bosses of the building shut the building down) my wife won a volunteering award from that work and recieved high praise but she only managed and succeeded at the role beacuse she was workiing with family.

she also tried to volunteer for a wildlife hospital and rehabilitation centre, she completed the first training session but on day one an hour befor eher shift started, she collapsed with a panic attack that almost put her in the hospital. she cant manage working with new people she doesnt already know. she is so upset its breaking my heart.
David, there are more voluntary roles online at the moment due to the o pandemic; therefore you could be onhand to support.

In the future, perhaps you or a family member could help her transition to a new role. Or a mentor/volunteer befriender/ paid support worker could get to know her and support her.

Melly1
She wouldn't cope working with a stranger, and she would only be able to hold her interest with certain roles (working with animals is really her passion) but there is nothing round here. The farm won't take her as its all on hills and her physically difficulties wouldn't mange. She cant dog walk as she can barely walk and there is no other cat or dog kennels. She is so depressed it's awful to watch. We've had to contact her gp and up her meds again again which has destroyed her confidence.

I need to find something that she can do before she hits rock bottom. She can't do much online interacting with strangers is too difficult so I'm at a loss.
She wouldn't cope working with a stranger,


No, of course she wouldn’t.
But remember, you were a stranger once and she got to know you!!

Research transition and introducing change to people with autism - it’s not impossible - it just take planning, preparation and time. Gradually introducing other people to your wife and them supporting her will benefit you both in the long run.

Melly1
Everything she met me her sister was there. She always had to have someone she knows, he mum, sister, me. Everything local seems to be charity shop based. She tried that at 16 and it caused her to be depressed and suicidal because even working out the back was too much. The only thing i found she could do is a cat cuddler for a cat rescue centre but it's way too far away and there is nothing like it local. She told me this morning I should give up on her because she is useless. It's really hurting her and I cant stand to see it.