How can I cope with a dementia sufferer with depression?

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
I don't retaliate when my husband is being difficult. I walk away.Only twice since he has been in the nursing home, that I have. The last time I felt quite ill for ages. He forgot, I didn't. So, whilst I can say, oh dear, in a bad mood today or suchlike. I honestly don't feel it's worth giving as good as you get. You are hurt, guilty and all the other feelings.
I'm sure antidepressants do work, with dementia patients, but take time, and of course medication has to be monitored. Hubby started to go almost comatose, so the doctor reduced the antidepressant. He is on anti psychotic medication, plus loads of other medications, so a careful watch is needed.
It's not easy, being complacent , but in my case, better than the dreadful feeling of arguing with a sick man, who doesn't know what he is doing, can't help it and forgets anyway! My humble opinion anyway.
I often think of Susie's saying , remind yourself that it's ok not to be perfect.
I think I have to just accept the fact that she's turned into a thouroughly nasty old woman. She's not in a home, so I can't walk out and anyway she won't remember.
When I said I walk away I didn't mean I walk out of the home.Just walk down the corridor then return. He's usually ok then. My lovely husband can be attrocous at times. He frightened and confused. Never the less, I can't always take it.
Not sure if it's accessible, but in the Times today (free from Waitrose!) the 'problem page' (with Tanya Byron) is about this very subject - a parent with dementia becoming very verbally abusive and aggressive.

There isn't much practical advice (sigh, what can there be, after all?) but the explanation seems to be that the anger is only targeted at the victim (son/daughter/spouse) because the anger is 'really' at the dementia - ie, the family becomes the 'target' of the anger the patient feels that they have dementia in the first place.

The article also says to check whether the dementia is profontal (is that right?) cortext as this is where our ability to feel empathy and love etc are sited - so if the dementia is damaging this area of the brain particularly, that is perhaps also why the patient lashes out so viciously - they have lost the ability to feel 'love' effectively.

All part of the general bloody nightmare that is dementia, both for the person, and the long-suffering family.