I care for my elderly uncle who, after 7 mild strokes, spends all day in bed except for trips to the bathroom and to the yard to smoke. He's been at sea all his life, is a loner, an ex-alcoholic, occasional depressive, and has a strong aversion to rules. He has never had a family or home of his own, except as a child.
The problem is, he doesn't understand family and house life and doesn't seem to understand basic rules like 'smoke outside as my son is allergic to cigarette smoke' and 'don't keep turning the lights on and off all night as the rest of us need to get some sleep' and 'turn the taps off after you as the water is metered'. I do sympathise as I hate rules myself, but in his case some are essential. The thing is, how strict should I be with an old man? I feel bad laying the law down, and the stricter I am the more he tries to break the rules by doing things when I'm not looking, so I'm deliberately not coming up with rules like 'don't empty your pee bottle down the sink' as I dread to think what he'll do instead.
There is no-else who will take him in, he has been thrown out the seaman's mission 3 times and he is mortally afraid of ordinary old people's homes, but his short term memory is either sporadic or selective (I'm not entirely certain which...) and he can spend one day driving me insane and the next day is the sweetest person on earth.
Any tips or advice on how to deal with him?
Or shall I just hop onto the forum every now and then to vent my steam a little bit?
Any advice or moral support much appreciated
The problem is, he doesn't understand family and house life and doesn't seem to understand basic rules like 'smoke outside as my son is allergic to cigarette smoke' and 'don't keep turning the lights on and off all night as the rest of us need to get some sleep' and 'turn the taps off after you as the water is metered'. I do sympathise as I hate rules myself, but in his case some are essential. The thing is, how strict should I be with an old man? I feel bad laying the law down, and the stricter I am the more he tries to break the rules by doing things when I'm not looking, so I'm deliberately not coming up with rules like 'don't empty your pee bottle down the sink' as I dread to think what he'll do instead.
There is no-else who will take him in, he has been thrown out the seaman's mission 3 times and he is mortally afraid of ordinary old people's homes, but his short term memory is either sporadic or selective (I'm not entirely certain which...) and he can spend one day driving me insane and the next day is the sweetest person on earth.
Any tips or advice on how to deal with him?
Or shall I just hop onto the forum every now and then to vent my steam a little bit?
Any advice or moral support much appreciated