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MrsAverage Online
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- Posts: 3895
- Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2015 11:10 am
Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:48 pm
Sorry about that BB.
The drama triangle can be applied to explain behaviour in many situations, not just in those of us fighting for services.
I've encountered it in many a work situation and understanding it helps me. For example when I spot it happening now I can consciously decide to step off it and act more calmly and logically instead.
I try to apply it with my son too who often seems to put himself as victim and me as either aggressor or hero. Now, rather than getting cross and feeling guilty, or stepping in to rescue, I try to reflect back to him that he has the ability and choices not to be the victim and has the ability and choice to solve whatever the problem is himself. Works quite well as in him saying "Theres no milk in the fridge" with all the attitude, intonations and implications it's my job to ensure there is. So I could respond as aggressor ""Well it's not my job, ive got too much else to do" or as rescuer "I'll pop get and get some now " . Instead I recognise the drama triangle, step off it and say " You're right. What are the options to solve the problem? "
After a few times of trying on being the victim, now he says " We're out of milk. I'm just popping to the shop to get some "
Very simple example but it helps Me, and him, I hope.
I think many of us carers feel pushed into the hero or rescuer roles more often than we'd ideally like