Hello, am new so sorry if this is a common problem. I am 49 years old and live with my Mum who has Dementia. I also work full time and care for my partner who has mental health issues. Mum has a care company that visits her once a week and she refuses to pay for more (she is over the threshold) although she clearly needs more help. I do everything I can, get up early and do chores, make sure she has food prepared / made, clean, sort bills (although I have no POA), keep track of appointments, take time off work to ensure I am with her for any new people that have to attend (vets / chiropodist). My only request is that I have a couple of hours after work to check on my partner and I have told her I will always be home my a certain time. This understanding fluctuates from being ok, to her saying I can be home whenever I want to her saying she needs me home early. I *need* the couple of hours after work for my own mental health and that of my partner. Am I being selfish? How do I deal with it when Mum becomes threatening because of this time away? I try to stay firm and say that I am not going anywhere so she a) feels reassured and b) knows that she cannot scare me but it is so hard when she escalates the threats. Any help / advice is really appreciated. Thank you
The only power mum has over you is the power you let her have. Do not let her control your life.
Dementia affects reasoning.
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance?
Exemption from Council Tax?