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help please - Carers UK Forum

help please

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
i have been caring for my mum about 5 years now she has vascular dementia also been juggling a full time job around her and it has worked up to now,but at the moment she is totally confused and not eating i think she has water infection which could be causing it,also a touch of bronchitas the doc came yesterday gave her some anti biotics and said if she is no better by tomorrow will have to admit to a care home for them to treat her,my worry is once in there after treatment will the care home angle to keep her as there is no way i want this to happen,she hates care home and apart from this episode is pretty fit and i am determined to look after her even if it means giving my job up to do soi was ok about her treatment until a friend said that had happened to her mum now its worrying me,thanks dave
Hello Webby, long time, no see Image

Don't worry the Care Home cannot insist that your Mum stays with them indefinitely - that decision is yours and hers to make. But are you sure he said a Care Home ? I would have thought that hospital would have been the first port of call and a better option to get on top of any infection.

The only reason that 'officialdom' could remove your Mum from her own home is if they consider your Mum is a vunerable adult and in danger - and even then there would be a long process to be gone through to prove it.
hi suzieq thanks for putting my mind at rest,yes he def said care home i noticed mums day centre as a medical wing my other worry is the norvo virus which seems quite busy in this area but i know she cant go on like she is hardly eating and she will be in best place for her
next thing i have to look into is the possibility of finishing at work and looking after her full time im guessing there will be very little help for me but have to admit last few days i have taken off from work are much less stressful then trying to hare around and hold a full time job down
Hi webby, my MIL was placed in a rehab unit in a care home when she wasnt eating so that they could improve her before coming home. Could that be what was meant?
Don't give up work unless there is absolutely no alternative. Perhaps it's time for a reassessment from Social Services, for both of you?
hi crocus yes i think that is what the doctor meant i was fine with it until a well meaning friend rang to say her mother went in like that and stayed permantly
bowlingbun it would be a last resort at the moment mum is really confused im hoping this is being caused by water infection if it is the dementia has got worst i dont really have a alternitive,and i must admit even that i have been home sinse weekend its a lot less stressful as at work im constantly under pressure trying to get back in time for mum
Are you getting any support from Social Services?
we are not eligble for a budget so no,only help i get is 16hrs free sitting a month and mum goses to day centre twice a week which we pay for,and a carers allowance