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Help/Advice - Carers UK Forum


Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.

I wonder if anyone can give me some advice, I'm caring for my Dad who has dementia, I previously spent 9 years caring for my Mum who had Alzheimer's, so going through it again is tough. I also have mental health problems, and a brother with learning disabilities, and since Christmas I've been through a court case and lost my older brother to cancer, and moved house, I'm also getting over shingles. I'm absolutely physically and mentally exhausted, and struggling to cope, I'm also trying to decorate my house, and I just can't get it done. The bedrooms are halfway finished, but I'm now at a point where I need some outside help, I got some quotes, but they wanted in the region of £2200, which I can't afford. I have all the paint and equipment, and all the prep work has been done. Are there any organisations that offer either free services or low priced services, that would help me get this sorted, I really would appreciate any help or advice, as I'm at the end of my tether with everything, and just want it done.

Thank you.
Yes there are.

In my area there is something called "Care and Repair"

Depends which county you live in?
Sorry, I should have said, I'm in Reading, Berkshire.
STOP! You are driving yourself into the ground, listen to your body and take a break. The world won't end because the paint is in the tin for a few weeks. Stop trying to be Superwoman, get out and enjoy the sunshine, chill out, and be glad for what you have achieved recently. It's not a race.
In the long term, you need to think about becoming care ORGANISER for everyone, not the hands on carer. If you tell us more about mum and your brother, ages, where they live in terms of distance to you, we might be able to come up with a few ideas.
Hello Sarah

sounds like you have a lot to cope with at the moment !

You don't mention your own age so I'm making an assumption that you could be over 55 ? (Especially as you've nursed one parent through dementia and are now nursing the other). If I'm right in that respect it could be worthwhile contacting your local Age UK - they run something called "Helping Hands" and it covers every thing from befriending services to DIY and gardening jobs. They use local tradesmen who are volunteers but there is a charge based on what needs doing.

Alternatively you might find this website helpful https://www.turn2us.org.uk/?_ga=2.89207 ... 1501504057 as they have a section covering available grants for all sorts of things.

Then again (thinking outside the box here) maybe it might be worthwhile contacting your local Scout Association to see if any of the older lads need some experience to get their community 'badges' - think the old "Bob a Job Week" type thing.
I'm 47.
Hi, it's my Dad I'm caring for, my Mum passed away 4 years ago, after caring for her for 9 years, my Dad and my younger brother both live with me, and we're all in Reading, Berkshire. We've already been here about 8 weeks, but I just can't get it done, my Dad can't be left alone now, social services say we don't qualify for respite as my Dad is too high functioning, and putting him with lower functioning people may cause him to decline quicker, so I don't get any time off. My brothers learning difficulties are only mild, so he helps with my Dad, but he can't work on his own initiative, you have to tell him what to do, and sometimes show him.
Sarah_161012345 wrote:I'm 47.
then you're probably too young for the Age UK service on your own behalf - but you could ask about the service on behalf of your Dad as I suspect he's certainly within the right age bracket.