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Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
My mum is very, very poorly. She has severe osteoporosis and now completely unable to hold her head up, it rests on her chest now. After a series of mini strokes earlier this year, the right side of her face is weak. Together, this means that mum dribbles a great deal. When I visited this afternoon, it was continuous, which she hates. Tissues are no longer good enough, her T shirt was soaked, but she doesn't want to wear an enormous bib. The nurses are changing her very regularly, but that's not really the answer. I feel sure that someone has met a similar problem before, so I'm asking for some advice. If I ask the home I expect they will buy what I ask (the marketing director for this large group of homes happens to live next door to me!) but I just don't know what to ask for. Mum has very delicate skin, so I think something like a larger version of a babies stretch towelling bib which pops over the head wit a polo neck type arrangement would be best. Is such a thing made? If so, what is it called and where can I get them. Cost isn't of huge importance just now, I just want to make mum as comfy as possible. Sadly, I don't think she's going to be around much longer.
I just 'googled' Adult Bibs and got a lot of hits, but they all seem to be more suited for catching food spills :( Couldn't see any with a high 'polo' type neck.

However I did notice that there were a couple of sites that give directions for making your own - mostly the usual longer ones but knowing that you are handy with a sewing machine thought maybe you could customise/adapt a standard pattern ?
http://www.completecareshop.co.uk/eatin ... dult-bibs/

BB, I had a look on here. They are a step away from the horrible hospital type jobs and much more "stylish" if you get my drift. Further down the page there is a neckerchief type bib that comes higher up the neck- maybe a combo of the two?

I hope you find something suitable. Also wanted to send a cyber hug, your sadness comes through your post. Knowing we have done the right thing for mum and ourselves doesn't make the hurt any easier does it?

Strength for this difficult time x
Thanks for the hug, it's times like this that I so miss my late husband's bear hugs and support. I trawled the internet for hours last night and still didn't come up with anything as tasteful and practical as the ones on the site you recommended. The "Bibetta" is just what I'm looking for. I just love the way the forum can sort out everything caring related, someone always knows.
Just a thought, but what about those fine lawn muslin cloths that new mums throw over their shoulders when they are holding their babies up, to catch any milk regurgitations when winding! The muslin is fine and soft, and easily washable. I would imagine places like Mothercare still sell them? Even Boots possibly etc.

So sorry to hear about your mum. BUT, the one 'upside' I feel about when someone reaches such a dreadful, dreadful state, is that when they do 'slip away' one can really feel they are 'released' from an ailing, crippled body that has become a prison for them. I felt that so strongly when my husband died - that he'd finally 'escaped' from his sick, sick body....

I hope when the time comes that your mother has an easeful passing, and that you are able to say to her all the things that need to be said at such a time. Remember that hearing is said to be the final sense to fade, and so even if she becomes unresponsive, she may still be able to hear you if you are keeping vigil by her.

Also, you will have known this already, I'm sure, and I know it's been mentioned on these forums, it seems that so, so often, someone who is dying will 'slip away' only when their children and family are no longer at their side......it does seem to be very common. I personally think it is because all parents instinctively want to 'stay and look after their children' and find it very hard to 'abandon' them.

With kind thoughts to you at such a a time - Jenny.
Hi BB,

sorry to hear your mum is now so poorly.

I can vouch for the Bibetta style bibs looking stylish as fashion conscious folk with cerebral palsy who dribble excessively often wear them. Some makes are more absorbent than others and keep the wearer drier, so worth shopping around.

Also worth investigating, although they may not be suitable are "patches. " They inhibit excessive saliva production. Some of the children I have taught in the past have used them. I'm sorry, I don't know there full name, but I do know they made a big difference having seen those same children when their patch had fallen off or needed replacing.

Thanks Melly, I've bought one bandana type bib from our local Disability shop, and ordered four more via ebay, where they are much cheaper. Before purchasing, I asked the girl in the shop to put it on for me, and it was very, very soft. My brother said mum was wearing it today, so I was pleased to hear that. I'm very interested in the patches. Any chance you could find out the name for me next week. Mum's mouth is absolutely pouring out saliva, the doctor prescribed some medication, but it didn't make a scrap of difference. My brother said mum told him she'd had another stroke last week, which I'd suspected but no one told me from the home. Brother's partner used to give counselling support in a hospice, from what I'd told them, she is sure mum is very close to the end now.
BB - just a thought....

If your mother is now entering the 'final stage', I'm not sure whether or when this might apply, but my husband became Nil by Mouth towards the very end, because he'd lost his swallowing reflex. When that happens, it's dangerous to give them anything orally, as they may choke (not being able to swallow.) I worried endleslsy about him being thirsty (he wasn't on a drip, as he wasn't in hospital, but he was getting fluid to an extent from his medalazam syringe driver)(the body also retains 'metabolic' water, generated by cellular respiration), and I was given swabs to dampen and then ease around his mouth so he didn't have a dry uncomfortable mouth.

I mention this only in case your mother is put on anti-salivary patches - if she is also Nil by Mouth, that combination may not be comfortable for her.

I hope her passing, when it comes, is easful, and gives you and your family 'good memories' for the time ahead......
Thanks Jenny.
Hi BB,

I'll try and find out. They're only available on prescription, do if they were unsuitable for your Mum the GP wouldn't prescribe them.