Do I have to share full disclosure of care plan

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hi can someone please help me. I've had a bit of a run in with a member of my husbands family who now insists they want full disclosure regarding my husbands care plan etc. I have asked my husband and he does not want his family to know anymore than what we chose to disclose to them. Unfortunately he is deemed as having limited capacity, although on this subject he is very clear on what he wants. Is it within my power as next of kin and his representative and full time carer to inform his social worker and occupational therapist that I do not wish them to share information with any family member who may contact them?
Can I do this and is there anything else I need to do... unfortunately I do not have power of attorney.

Any help appreciated
Hi Cheechee,
I don't see how you and your hubby could be forced to disclose the contents of his care plan to other family members, unless the person requesting to see the care plan has POA for medical/health matters.

Yes, I would tend to agree - wives usually are the next of kin over and above a blood relative.

What is the source of conflict here? Don't say if you don't want, but it might be that the collective experience on the forum that a solution or suggestions at least can be put to you.

Caring so often causes 'mixed opinions' and one of the terms that is very familiar on this forum is that of the 'helicopter' relative - they do actually sXXXd all to provide any PRACTICAL help, but are very, very forthcoming when it comes to telling you what you SHOULD be doing....

Also, of course, the ugly face of the financial cost of providing care can arise....I have a friend, for example, who wants to care for her father herself, and preserve her eventual inheritance, but her sister doesn't want to share the practical care, and would rather use his money to put him in a care home! Tricky to 'adjudicate'!
Basically I have been following advise from various professionals regarding things like visiting, restricting activities and numbers of visitors etc. To be honest I ask my husband every time they visit if he wants visitors and 9 times out of 10 he doesn't, but I feel he should have some contact so basically I have been making him, which in itself is totally wrong. Now they want to have more involvement and want to be privy to all information about him. In my opinion we have the right to censor what information is passed on to family and basically at some points they have annoyed me so much that I don't really want to tell them anything. One member of the family has no filter so it is guaranteed that even if he was told something of a personal nature in confidence it would be spread around the family like wild fire. I have another member of the family who has minimal training telling me what should be done about his therapy sessions. I also have other members of the family who come for a flying visit, and stay for 30-40 minutes but don't offer any practical help, oh apart from asking on the way out if there is anything they can do, by which time they are out the door and half way into their cars! And so on and so on.....

Going by previous experience I wouldnt put it past them to try and phone up about his care plan! Hence wanting to know if that information is restricted and if agencies have to ask me if it is OK to disclose this or if I need to phone the social worker etc to tell them
They are all bound by client confidentiality. It may still be possible for yor husband to give you POA.
Unfortunately he is no longer able to give consent for PoA.

In the past I found out that one of the family had phoned another agency saying that they were me and asked for details. Luckily with that there were security questions and as they did not know the answers they were unable to obtain any information.

So basically I am his next of kin, which I know holds no legal weight but I am also his wife, and as such I don't know what rights I hold with that. For instance his next blood relative would be his son, who is 30. Someone was quick to let me know that if anything were to happen to my husband (and as he would die intestate) as his wife I would be entitled to inherit everything up to £250k and anything over and above that it would be split 50% with his son.

That's REALLY not what I need to know.... hopefully I won't have to think about that for a long, long time.

I need to know what my rights are as a wife just now!
Sometimes people with limited understanding are able to grant POA, this would be best, if possible.

Otherwise, you can apply to become his legal "guardian". Google "OPG" and you will find all the relevant information. I'm thinking of doing this in respect of my son with learning difficulties.
I have already spoken to a solicitor about applying to the Court of Protection a while ago, and was told that it was a lengthy application form (which they could complete for me) but after completing the application a notice of intent would have to be sent to his son and one other family member who could in theory object to my application.... in which case it could turn out to be protracted and potentially very expensive, so I did nothing about it.
Sorry, I can't think of any other solution. If the son or other relative objected, they would have to have good grounds on which to do so. As wife, I would expect you to take priority. Our CUK helpline is my best suggestion, send them an email and they will get back to you, usually within a week, might be a few days longer as it's just after Christmas. They are very knowledgeable, and it's free!
Hi thanks for your reply, I have literally had only a couple of hours sleep last night, too many thoughts flying around my head to switch off.... which is no good. The only consolation is that we have some support later on today so I can try and rest then!