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Day centre transport withdrawn due to unacceptable behaviour - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Day centre transport withdrawn due to unacceptable behaviour

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Those sensible measures Melly1 had suggested are what are exactly in place and its not working.

Best I can do is take a conciliatory approach.

I am hoping that transport in morning might still be possible and something can be done about afternoon. I have an idea that may or may not be feasible.

A mobility scooter was a solution I mooted previously (this is a long standing issue) and I am looking into that.

In any case it's clear that three days a week attendance is no longer going be feasible. It may be that I will need up my voluntary work to get away more as a result.

Of course the dementia means that mum has lost the sense of reason, so what we would see as "reasonable" doesn't appear the same way to her. It is such a shame that something which in the grand scheme of things seems relatively trivial, that it could mean that you as carer have to give up caring. You can't keep surrendering a bit of your life, and a bit more, and a bit more.
However the getting out of bed issue may be the last straw. Again, such a shame, when she is relatively fit, enough to get annoyed with those who are not.
Keep us posted, I'm afraid I'm at a loss to think of any other solutions.
Can I just point out that sometimes with those with dementia, they truly 'don't know' they are in a care home! This has happened to someone I know of. The daughter was distraught at the thought of the father going 'into care', and thought he would miss home terribly - but he's been there a month now and truly 'does not seem to notice' he is no longer at home!
So went to see the psychatrist today and basically my mum didn't do so well in tests.

Due to her inability to retain information, shrink feels her capacity is now in question and will write to SW (and, on my request, the gp) with that view. He didn't pull any punches with reason for fronto-temporal damage. Drinking to excess over many years. Has stopped drinking spirits but damage so severe that even small amount beer mum now drinks is still harmful.

This evening she managed to fall and bang her head in toilet, ironically on a grabrail it seems. :roll: I was on a vc with my boss and colleague and didn't realise she was calling for me. You couldn't make it up!

I want keep her at home until the new year, so can spend last Christmas at home. In any case with waiting lists and one care home closing in our town I doubt she be offered somewhere where I'd be happy for her to be permanently until then.

Her keyworker at day centre moonlights at a care home at weekends. Explained that day centre acting manager is responsible for LA funded respite placements in her 'day job' and will 'fast-track' my mum into that care home (austere but safe i'd describe it as) for respite. Even if just invoke POA for that I think it's worth it as an interim measure :-??? Whatever my mum says to her keyworker at day centre no way she will go respite without v firm 'push' :pinch: